You Are Left Overs

I liked her, yes,
But you took her,
Yes, you did,
Even though you knew I liked her,
Now you are done with her,
Yes, she is already been through him,
You have already been through her,
It sounds as if am getting left overs,
But humans can never be left overs,
I feel hate and disgust in my heart,
You made me feel like I wasn't enough,
He was the better option,
I hate you for that, oh yes I do,
Nothing hurts more than to be passed over,
Nothing hurts as not being chosen,
But life sometimes is like that,
When it happens once or twice it's alright,
But if it happens as often as sunrise,
Then you get destroyed,
You get angry at the world,
All you want to do is find a way,
You can compensate,
For not being the one,
And those ways you compensate might not be good,
But we are earthly creatures,
We have survival instincts,
Not only can we dodge bullets,
Like birds fly away from harm,
We  can protect our hearts and egos,
We need them to survive,
To realize ourself worth,
Uselessness equals suicide,
What do you mean it not that serious?
It's as serious as the air we breath dear,
Nothing hurts as not being chosen,
But life sometimes is like that,
When it happens once or twice it's alright,
But if it happens as often as sunrise,
Then you get destroyed,
Pardon us for our survival instincts,
Pardon us for stinging like a bee,
You may love us bees,
You may just want to hold us,
But the moment you try touch us,
We think you intend us harm,
We sting you,
Even though you will cause us our sting,
And we may die as a result,
We still sting,

For we have been stung,
Through life,
Our entire life,
The last to be picked,
Not once,
All the time.

They say giving is the best therapy

To be bothered...

My ultimate dream shouldn't be gold and rubies,
It should be a heart that's golden and kind,
I know you might think this piece is boring,
Bare with it even though you already yawning,
Our heart follows our minds I hope you know,
How else are dorky glasses cool this days?

Most that is beautiful around us are works of few,
Think about the orphanages and prison cells,
Foundations are started by the very few of us,
So few that those that start it are famous,
They are as famous as kissing,
Even the bonobo ape kisses you know,
No one has ever hoped for bad fortune,
Imagine yourself innocent but jailed for life,
It's like having eyes but unable to open them,
Just close your eyes now and feel that helplessness,
Imagine and orphan child denied all potential,
Imagine a sweeper without a career path to aim at,
Thank the heavens that at least you have possibilities,

Most that is beautiful around us are works of few,
Think about the school loan given to students,
It must have been a thought by one man,
Perhaps a greedy and rich one,
Who got moved by the struggle a voiceless student has,
What would be wrong if you pushed for such a suggestion?
Being a hero for screaming an opinion during a board meeting?
Giving children possibilities and opportunities,
At no cost but just a mere suggestion that blossoms,
Into a government policy that rescued many,
When you think of someone needy don't just think of your pocket,
let yourself get disturbed by the unfortunate,
You already and now have so much power,
To move an ocean at the snap of your finger,

If me and you got disturbed a little bit,
Just for five minutes a day or even less,
I promise you our hearts will start to feel something for the needy,
You want to feel something for the misfortunate,
It's your mind that clouds your heart of this feeling,
The moment you think of someone needy,
All you think that it is money that they need,
We are not asking you to look at your bank accounts,
I know times are hard and most of us are greedy,
Remember the greatest human need is contentment,
happiness makes us forget about our struggles,
Do you know how good it feels to talk and talk?
Everyone attentive and laughing at you jokes?
Sometimes all you need is to be an ear,
Let someone talk there mouths out to happiness,
The moment you think of someone needy,
All you think that it is money that they need,
Has something absolutely successful happened to you?
Your first urge is to call someone and talk about it;
For opportunities are not fortunes  if not shared,
if you were given all the opportunities and nobody,
You will be as sad as nobody has ever been,
So bury your envy and be ready to let the other,
Share their life and fortune in words with you,
For you being human completes their success,

The moment you think of someone needy,
All you think that it is money that they need,
But you are so much more than your wallet,
You are a smile that infects a bored worker,
You are the comment that will lead a boss,
To re-direct his fortunes to a scholarship,
You are the voice that will encourage a child,
To grow up and find the cure to an incurable disease,
You do not have to be a venture capitalist,
To see the potential of the ones around you,
Since you feel pain when you open your wallet,
How about you notice talent in another and direct it,
The moment you think of someone needy,
All you think that it is money that they need,

Thanks to well directed energies we have pills,
Medicines that can chase a head ache like a thief,
Thanks to directed energies we do have rights,
You do realize someone thought it good that,
Your life be protected by a thought out concept?
The right to life? Freedom from torture?
these were merely thoughts you know,
That someone pushed so hard for,
Blood was shed for,
Just so that you and I can enjoy a better life,
No one asks you to shed blood like blood was shed for you,
All we want is a few minutes of your time,
To feel something for someone without,
To feel something for somebody who lacks,
To feel something for your brother and sister,
So that eventually you will do at least something,
That may even seem useless but will be a step,
In the direction to meet what a brother or sister needs,
We are all brothers and sisters you know,
The moment you think of someone needy,
All you think that it is money that they need,

You are so much more than you wallet,
Prove you are so much more,
Do something that will move,
A needy to need-less-ness,
They say giving is therapy,
Try to give,
Tell us how it feels,
Your personal experience.
Giving is therapy.
how comes donators never stop?

Choosing Between Two Girls

Think of a well structured pink polo shirt,
That evokes the feelings of a clay tennis courts,
Beautiful playful energetic moments,

Then think of a navy-blue velvet coat,
The leather seats cocktails and elegant parties,
The classic beautiful soft navy coat a life saver,

If you were to choose one of the two,
Whereas you feel you need both the two,
What would you do?

We all know diamonds are forever don't we?
We have always wanted them for forever,
We have done all that it takes to get it,
Literally done all it takes to get that diamond,
That is as glossy as that ice cube rock that we cherish,
Then imagine being able to reach diamond,
After all the sweat you poured,
After all the blood you spilled,
After all the dignity you lost,
Just to get that diamond,
After years,
When you finally get so close to it,
You can almost touch it,
You finally have a chance,
To get that diamond,
In half a split second,
You discover that there is gold!
There is that one rock of gold so beautiful,
But gold you have not wanted forever,
You have wanted it just now,
Pure lust of the eyes,
You look at gold and you droll,
You want it suddenly,
It takes you like fire takes fuel,
Besides gold does look like a fire,
Your heart is set a flame by gold,

She is like diamond,
Yes she is,
A bit cold like an ice cube,
I have chased her and got cut so much,
You know diamond can cut right through metal right?
Now imagine what it would do to my heart?
Made of flesh and blood,
I have been cut inquest for diamond,
My blood has gone down the drain with water from ice cube,
That look exactly like the diamond,
Then just before I have diamond,
In the end,
Like to ensure me that my quest wasn't fruitless,
My blood didn't spill in vain,
I find diamond,
She is exactly at my reach.
The I discover gold,

Gold unlike diamond,
Did not spill my blood in my quest for her,
She is as beautiful as diamond,
Who dare tries to price diamond and gold?
Who dares values which is better?
They are both beauties born from one earth,
Both everything that lights a heart,

I went to find diamond,
And suffered on the way,
But gold found me,
Yes she did,
At my very door step,
Randomly in the beauty of the night,
I ached in craving,
But I did know that if I gave in,
The diamond I had worked so hard to get,
Might be lost from me forever,
She was almost half naked half dressed,
Half dressed and half naked would describe her better,
For when she showed up,
I was not sure whether it was to tempt me,
Or I was reading my things and tempting myself,
She is gold,
Like a golden flame,
Just like that she flames up my mind,
So that diamond melts into water like ice cubes do,
A flame like that disorients,

We can't have diamond and gold can we?
At least wear them together you know,
It is perfectly in bad taste,
And I am not a rapper am I?
To have with me diamond and gold,
Together at the same time,

My question is what should I do,
Let all the blood I spill spill in waste,
All the years I spent chasing after diamond?
Or do I let myself have that burning flame,
That warmth that gold has to offer?

Unsure of whether I will have diamond eventually,
Unsure if gold tempted me intentionally,
Whether gold actually wants me eventually,
Sure that if I choose one I can't have the other,
I wish I could have both but you know mother nature,
She coughs up two stones so distinct and precious,
But the two stones are so shiny and so bright,
That you can't wear one and expect it to be un-noticed,
The other will get to know too,
And when the other knows,
You have lost it forever,

Gold I might have now,
She is a flame,
She can't help herself,
She sparks and people burn,
Diamond am unsure of,
I might wait another century,
On the other I might not,
Am torn between the two,
This time,
Remediless,
Help,
Someone please help me.

I am not a rapper,
To wear diamond and gold at the same time,
But maybe I can be a super star,
A star is boundary-less,
can have both,
Gold with diamond,
Diamond with gold.
Am I a star?

Day 1: An attempt at confidence

I write this to let you share in my journey, as well as share in my misfortune, I feel as if if I share my struggle with you, it will feel less heavy. Sort of like therapy, when you talk about something, you feel better. Tomorrow I will be on a mission, I want to gather up enough courage to strike a conversation with a total stranger. The whole idea is I feel stale, I want something refreshing, and a refreshing new conversation is what I seek tomorrow. There is a chance I will be ignored... Possibility a new life is going to cross paths with mine... Writing it makes me feel excited about tomorrow, can't wait to tell you how it goes.

When To Open Your Legs

Although my hair is black,
Not white and wise with age,
I have had quite the experience,

The girl that wants me,
But I don't want at all,
Never will she have a chance with me,
Unless I do have lack of judgement,
For a split moment,
Which is very rare,
For I am a social drinker,
And even when am sober,
Am a very intentional person,
But that girl I don't like at all,
That wants me bad,
If she ends up in my bed,
Or we in a dark street alley,
Feeling extremely naughty,
And what we had made me feel so sweet,
Then it will be hard to un-cling,
I will be trapped in her web,
I know one Friday night,
I will be un-cool without plans,
With my movies and my phone,
At night in my apartment,
I will get updates of people gone out,
And I will be envious and jealous,
That I did not have Friday night plans,
And at that very hour of the night,
I will think about my one night stand,
Who made sure she saved her number in my phone,
I will fight with myself not to call,
But eventually you know battles of the mind,
The moment you start to consider,
All you need is a little push,
Like the already loaded milk gun,
That suddenly feels jailed in my shorts,
Then the number will be dialed,
She will be at my door,
This Friday and the next,
And the next and the one after,
Then it will be a habit,
Habits are hard to break you know,
If she is likable I will start to like her,
Soon she will be in my shirts,
Then I will realize that she is special,
Her hastily open legs,
Will be what,
Will have me wrapped around her little finger,
Her hasty legs,

Then there is the averagely hot girl,
One with hesitant legs to open,
She is the one that excites me,
She is almost as sharp as me,
She melts at my sharp mind,
She can question global warming,
Torque and horsepower,
Sociology and economics,
For in a way her wit almost out wits mine,
Our conversations are so simulating we fight,
And you know good fights come from passion,
She will most likely not have a chance with me,
But she has personality,
She is as interesting,
She knows how to take care of herself,
She can tell the difference between,
Oily skin lotion and dry skin oils,
Her hair is always well cared for,
She sometimes wears khaki shorts,
With a very trendy chic top,
Generally she is easy to like,
Since she is not exactly my type,
I will put her on my friends list,
But you know men are visual creatures,
You need not an esthetic degree to know this,
That day when we are being just friends,
And I see her in low cut jeans,
I will think and feel different,
Her hesitant open legs,
Opened then,
When I already got to know her,
Will be what that leads me to think,
That maybe just maybe,
I could tell people she is my girl,

Her not being too easy,
With her hesitant legs,
Will be what makes me feel,
That she is more precious,
Than the girl that gives it up,
On the first day,
But you know,
I liked her a bit,
The hesitant girl,
In the beginning,
That's why I stayed around,
Enough for her to web me,
Unlike for the girl I don't like at all,
Who has nothing that keeps me,
Around her at first,
But her hastily open legs,
If she had hesitant legs,
I would ignore her like disease,
You know us men,
The temptation of sex,
Even the little self discipline we have,
Not to stare at that nicely swinging ass,
Is half self discipline,
We might not look at it with our eyes,
But you can be sure if your luscious,
The blind man in our shorts,
Has seen you,
And even saluted you,
Like an army general,
He is standing at full attention,
the hesitant girl,
With her hesitant legs,
Webs me eventually,
After I know her well,

Then there is the hot girl,
Who is a bit more complicated,
For she is beautiful and well packaged,
She comes with everything,
Even a kiss that paralyzes me,
She is so perfect that even when,
I have had her forever and am bored,
I have other men and the world,
To remind me that she is a catch,
That if I lost her even once,
The girl I would get after her, 
Will be the most serious down grade,
 This girl can open her legs when she wants,
She doesn't have to restrain herself,
If she let's you in hastily,
You will still think before you text her,
Is it the right time to text?
Is this the right text to send?
For a lot is at stake with her,
She will be the first your friends know about,
For you will talk about her all day,
If she hesitates to open her legs,
Like the average likable girl,
She will still web you and win,
For you not just want to shag her as a conquest,
But a repeated conquest,
You will feel passionated about her,
Like she feels passionate of  her power over you,
I want her to be my girl,
And I will follow her until I have her,
But you know men and the 21st century,
You aren't the only beautiful girl that exist,
Plus there are very easy legs around,
Then there are the hesitant legs too,
Each one of those can nick and web me,
The whole idea of the web is being trapped,
If am having good sex and lots of love,
What makes you think I will chase you as much?

The only way the hot beautiful girl,
That I want from the start can have me,
Is to hook me with words and suggestiveness,
That eventually I will have her,
That eventually her legs will open,
That she will eventually be my girl friend,
She will flirt with me on that Friday night,
With the promise she is going to be my booty call,
She will convince me she will come at 12 pm,
That by one in the morning she will cause me to cum,
Then I will not call anyone else to quench my thirst,
At two in the morning she will not have come,
I will not have cum too,
It will be too late for plan B,
Then the first time will have,
It will be as memorable as my first emotion of love,
Even when we fight as we date,
Parting ways eventually,
I will think of it,
I will feel it,
I will want her,
I will carry a red rose,
With tearing glossy eyes,
Run to her in public,
Tell her I can't take it any more,
Being without her,
My world will be her,
I wont need to tell her this,
She will see it herself,
That I care not who is watching,
As I plead with her whilst everyone is watching,
Un-caring of the embarrassment I could get from rejection,
But she will love me for sure,
That's why she will hug and kiss me,
Take my red rose and drop a tear,
The realness of her love will be what makes her stand the stares,
Then we will leave to a private place,
Even forgetting her hand bag and phone,
For our love will be so real we care not of those things,
In the private place will have make up sex,
And you know how that is,

As much as I love the girl I already love,
For the fact I think we fit perfectly,
All that glitter is not gold,
All I need is those hastily open legs,
From that girl I like not yet,
So that I get her attention,
Those hastily open legs,
Is what will force me to know her beauty,
All I need is those hesitant legs,
To assure me she is not easy,
Or a slut at that,
All I need is a bit of promise,
To get it over my head,
That my chase is not as fruitless as it seems,

With those legs,
Is how men are caught,
Is how passion starts,
Trust your hearts,
Not what magazines tell,
For only you know your circumstances best,
Only you can make the best decision you can,
about your legs.

 

The Things That Will Make YOUR Relationship Work

The only way your relationship will work,
Is if there is work in the relationship itself,
The tricky part about that work itself,
Is that it shouldn't be work in itself,
When a relationship is work in itself,
Then it feels like a Monday morning everyday,
That work should be light and intense,
Like a friday party night is,
Passionate and budden-less,
Like the work you undertake,
To cause an orgasm,
For the one you are,
In a relationship with,

The only way your relationship will work,
Is if there is in it love like the ocean's depth,
Like the love Scuffy my puppy has for me,
Whether I feed her or not,
She always runs to hug me,
Whether I want to or not,
She always runs to hug me,
Whether am angry or not,
She is always ready to take the risk,
Of the wrath of an angry kick,
She still runs to hug me,
She always runs to hug me,
With a smile in the form of a wagging tail,
And a hug inform of a leg hump,
She wishes she was tall enough to hug well,
You should see her stand on her two legs trying to reach me,
She cares not that she has been playing in mud,
That her white far is brown with wet sand,
She doesn't care that I have white pants on,
Her urge to hug me from the moment she sees me,
Is testimony of her unconditional love to me,
Even when I have to go back and change,
I don't really care much,
My soiled white trousers,
Are a small price to pay,
To the warmth she brings to my heart,
With her unconditional love,
If a girl is easy to love,
If you truly love a girl,
After the infatuation subsides,
For a little while,
You will find it easier to keep up,
With her innocent habit,
To place food-filled plates,
In the sink,
In the very way,
You hate most,
For you love her intensely,
It will be as easy,
For her to kiss you,
Even when you spill red wine,
On her very white woolen coat,
I had a girl once,
I didn't love her enough,
Every little thing she did,
Irritated me so much,
After infatuation had left,
I couldn't wait for it to come back,
Even though i knew it always did,
I had to leave her before it was back,
I had another girl I loved,
So much if it was measured in rain,
All that would left on earth,
Would be fishes and sea beings,
For I would cause a world wide flood,
If the love I showered her was in rain.
I loved that girl so much,
Even though she turned my sink into a bin,
Leaving food-filled plates in it,
I still found a way,
Of kissing her still,
Even after the infatuation left,
When it came back,
We did cum with it,
Not just come,
But really cum,
From then I promised myself,
Never to let myself down,
By dating a girl I didn't love,
I promised myself,
Like my belt promises me,
That it will not let my shorts fall,
To never date a girl,
I don't love,

The only way a relationship will work,
Is if my phone vibrates endlessly,
With text from the one I love,
The only way we will let our love grow,
Is when she let's me have a life of my own,
For I do love to read everything,
She loves to watch somethings,
If we do all things together,
I will lose myself to her things,
She will lose herself to my things,
We will have all things in common,
Which is never good all times,
For you know opposites attract,
If we do all things together,
I will lose myself to her things,
Those things like soap operas,
Those are things I don't want to lose myself to,
The other things she does have,
Those that I love to lose myself into,
I would lose myself into every time,
Our love will grow like democracy has,
If we have somethings in common,
Other things we have in different,
Then all things will be beautiful,

Our love will grow only if we kiss,
Hold hands when we are in the streets,
Hug so much that we think will mix,
Shag so much we forget to sleep,
Our love will only grow if we talk deep,
As deep as our deepest kiss,
Furtherest our tongues can reach,
Doesn't she let me in deep,
Why cant she let me deep in words,
Tell me of the things she thinks,
And I tell her of the things I wish,
So that in the end we both are like safes,
That lock up each others secrets,
The secret behind the secrets,
Isn't that deep?
So that when my blog has no views,
And I pretend to laugh about it in public,
She slowly rubs and holds my arm,
So that I feel not alone,
She knows something even my most immediate circle of friend doesn't,
Then when we hug it's not like we did,
Cause when I hug her in the streets,
This time it will not to feel her boobs,
But to remind her that am with her,
When her results slip shows she dint read,

The only way love grows is if we let it,
That's why we let in bit by bit,
The feeling of love to our hearts,
With every restaurant we visit,
Every shared  chocolate we taste,
The movie theater seats we defile,
Sooner than later we are passwords less,
She visits woolworths with my card,
She fetches us condoms sometimes,
I buy her pads when she does forget,
Even though I think them disgusting,
I find a pink towel for her,
To match the pink shower gel I got for her,
They seat folded next to mine,
For even when we are away,
I know our towels are onto of each other,
And sooner than later will mimic their positions,

The only way love will grow,
Is if we do not give up on it,
Like artist don't give up on a track,
For we know in the end,
We will be seated together at the top of the  charts,
As the hottest couple ever,
Just like a song number one on charts,
Is the one artist love to perform most,
We will enjoy to perform the song,
That makes our love grow,
From between sheets we will perform,
Even screams of shared sad songs,
We will enjoy to perform,
We will enjoy to perform,
The things that makes us feel like superstars,
The things that make our love top the charts,
The top of the charts is undefined,
Any track can make it to the top,
They are all beautifully unique,
Like our love and relationship is,
I will believe in our rareness,
Just like an artist believes in his unorthodox beats,
For in the end the track that hits,
Is the one most felt by the mass hearts,
We will top the charts baby,
We will be the most beautiful couple,
Believe me please baby,
We have done our part,
Wear those heels you like,
From now on it's up high,
Let's wear those shades that shine,
Those colors that match,
Hold my hand,
Let's walk into the spot light,
Hear the screams of love,
Testimony that our love has grown,
We are super stars now baby,
We are stars,
I told you we will be,
If we did what it takes,
Hold my hand baby,
Everyone is watching,
Look baby,
The cameras are flashing,
We did our part,
We let our love grow,
We are super stars now baby,
We Are Stars.
We love.
They cheat.
We love!


It's such a pleasant emotion to see one more view of this note, and YOU are that one more view. Please read my other notes e.g. 'the end never justifies the means' and cause in me another smile, force in me other words... 

I shall not fall in love until...

I shall not fall in love until,

She falls into my arms,

I know it's foolish,

To say that I will wait,

For her even forever,

When am even unsure of her existence,

I shall not fall in love until,

I find her seated across a coffee house,

Java perhaps coffee hut or art cafe,

That's were I'd love us to meet,

I would love if she was a aficionado,

Like I am a coffee aficionado,

She will be in the prettiest polka dots,

The most beautiful of heels,

She would have a cappuchino to go,

A blueberry take away too,

She would also have Me to go too,

Her take away,

And when she gets home,

She will unwrap me and eat me alive,

I will stimulate her like caffeine does,

She will be as hot as hot coffee is,

'take care content might be hot'

And will have coffee every morning,

Forever like life is,

Both coffee aficionado,

Both addicted to each other,

Like coffee,

I shall not fall in love,

Until you.

Exist! 

http://www.gucci.com/us/category/f/women_s_ready_to_wear#look2482lookA113

The Decision We Make Regardless That It Hurts Us Both

It was a party in my honor,
It was a house party actually,
It was beautiful for sure,
There is a girl I dated once,
I even dated her after we ended,
Mostly between sheets though,
She is the kind of beautiful girl,
Who wears the right dress for the right place,
Always,
You'd be proud to take everywhere,
Every time and at all times,
For lunch at the country club,
On Friday night for clubbing,
That night at that party, 
That very party just for me,
I did have endless options,
I went through my phonebook,
And only got comfortable at her number,
I did ring her,
And you know the beauty of ex's,
They never say a firm 'no' really,
She wore a really nice scarf,
Beautiful black nicely faux leathered boots,
Heels so high her booty arched irresistibly,
She hopped a cab instantaneously,
In less than a while she was at the door,
When she walked in,
Her lusty indecency,
All hidden under her fawn trench coat,
Yes she did have a trench coat,
Show me a store you can buy that in Kenya,
I stopped flirting with however I was flirting with,
My honey was home,
Then I knew the party would really rock,
We played truth or dare,
When she was dared to kiss a stranger,
She kissed my lips instead,
When it was my turn to spin the bottle,
Even when it landed on another girl,
I kissed her instead,
And everyone allowed it,
We even took photos,
They thought she was my girlfriend,
We never stopped their line of thought,
For that's what happens to us,
We seem we are a couple even when we ex's,
We loved each other so much,
I remember the afternoons at the clay tennis courts,
Yes we did kiss that night,
Quite a bit oh yes we did,
Her kind heart and her bright mind,
Everyone knows a girl,
That made him understand love,
Breathed life into love,
So that love would breath,
So that love could come to life,
So that you know that love exist,
Even when you do not have it,
You know it truly exist,
Because she is the one,
Who made you know,
That you were indeed capable,
Of receiving and giving love,
Everyone knows a girl,
Who made him understand love,
She was that girl that made me feel,
That truly love does exist,
She literally breathed my love into life,
She also blew other of my thing,
Which helped it grow faster,
Both the love and the other thing,
That night at that party,
The worst thing did in fact happen,
There  is a line I hate passed,
She did cross that line,
She got to touchy with my friend,
I pulled her away publicly,
But she resisted publicly,
This wasn't like the public fights we'd had before,
Where even the waiters of the restaurants we frequented,
Hoped we resolved and made out,
For we were their favorite couple,
Had them  cry like in soap operas,
Not that I watch them, I just know they make people cry,
They saw we were perfectly helpless in love,
Even when we tried to ignore it ourselves,
This wasnt like the public fights we'd had before,
This felt different in so many ways,
It was as if it had life in itself,
It felt as if it would grow and live,
To destroy us and all we were,
When finally she did leave him,
After being touchy with him,
She followed me eventually,
To ask me what was wrong,
And I too to ask her what she thought was wrong,
There are things that hurt one beyond rationality,
That night was one of those nights,
Where I  hurt beyond rationality,
I was as irrational as a fire in a petrol station,
I punished with a flame all what was around me,
I did ask her to swallow her pride and apologize,
Seems it had always been easier to swallow cum than her pride,
My ultimatum was that she does acknowledge my broken heart,
Or we leave and burn everything that was us,
But she did not,
She became a lawyer,
Justified her actions,
I told her she was going to lose me,
I knew it was safe to say this,
I was sure I would hurt if I cut her off,
I knew she would hurt if I cut her off,
You only give ultimatums to people who care,
Otherwise you just making a clown of yourself,
She cared, that I knew she did,
I knew it would be as painful as disease is,
I knew I would suffer to keep off her,
She is a rare as cleopatra jewels,
One of a kind I tell you,
We always leave each other but we ended up together,
But this time I will fight like a drowning man,
Not to sink back to her no matter what,
She left my heart for her pride,
She felt she was right,
Maybe she was,
Maybe they weren't as touchy,
But we were beyond who is right whose wrong,
We were at the epitome of peaks,
Where it mattered not what was right or wrong as by the world,
What too touchy and just touchy was as by the world,
But rather whether we hurt or pleasured as she and I,
As what was touchy or too touchy as per her and 1,
If she did hurt me even a little,
She would trash all the laws and norms society has,
To make sure my hurt left not only my heart but town,
I would break laws just to pleasure her,
To me I  know no law  greater than  pleasure to her heart,
We were greater than this world,
We were law-less,
We were lost,
What we did at parking lots,
What we did on strangers beds,
Together we even drove at neck break,
We were lost,
We were even  greater than death and speed,
She sat by the co-drivers seat,
She kissed me as I drove,
Sipped pieces of fries between my lips,
When I hungered for food,
Not that her lips were not enough food for me,
We were lawless,
I would die for her,
We were lost,
I do mean it really,
But she decided that it's what is right to society,
That is paramount to what my heart feels,
And my ultimatum came into effect,
When that night ended,
I would cut her off,
In that moment of deep anger,
With a party in the next room,
I did have an orgasm from her,
I denied her one from me,
Though I know she still loved it,
I didn't wait for her to cum,
It was an act of revenge on my part,
At least that's what I would like to believe,
Our last night together,
She felt tighter than ever,
Sweeter than an angel would,
She has always had it all when it comes to that,
Her sex had always been greater than you will ever have,
She did leave before I was up,
That morning,
I awoke alone,
I felt empty,
But I had to fight,
I have not spoken to her ever since,
She tried to black mail me,
With photos we took,
During the beautiful moments of that night,
During truth or dare,
Of me in a bra and other unmentionable things,
I know she wont expose,
But might to solicit a fight,
For when we fight it's scandalous,
Unlawful and a relationship,
I know she wont expose,
For even where she is now she does love me,
And I love her too truly,
At least that's what I'd like to believe,
we are law-less,
we were too big for life,
I know what we have is beyond earth,
And I still call her my ex?
She still calls me her ex?
Romeo and Juliet have nothing on us,

When you scroll up to the dates at the top, you will get my other notes, plus a story titled 'untitled'
Enjoy.
Thanks.

Who Is Your Type?

You say you have a type,

You like your men a certain way,

That I like my girls a certain way,

And that it is that simple,

That is perfectly wrong,

My experience is my testimony,

I have since changed my beliefs,

Will yours change at the end of this?

You say you like bananas,

You like them a certain size,

Longer than a snake even,

You say you like it tight,

So that it grabs every inch,

Of the banana that intrudes,

You say you like them light,

Skin so fair and brown,

But then I find myself,

With my mouth agape,

At the sight of chocolate,

Her skin is not as light,

But I almost hit a tree,

My eyes stuck on her,

She is eye candy,

A treat to my senses,

Her chocolate complexion,

I want to eat alive,

Besides I love chocolate,

Who doesn't?

You say you like them tall,

And as witty as an encyclopedia,

If Einstein were to un-grave,

He should dash back to the soil,

Because his mind is no match for him,

But here I see you,

With a man slow as bad Internet,

With a man as short as bad sex,

If he were to be measured in seconds,

You wouldn't cum,

You say you like their bosom large,

But I see you dream of an almost boob-less girl,

Is it that we are very unintentional creatures,

Wanting this yet having something so different,

I think not Merely cause we are man,

The most intelligent of all creatures on earth,

Don't tell me aliens are,

We will discover them before they do us,

They couldn't have thought of Facebook,

Unless you saw lions and hyenas with a micro wave,

Warming there food and cooking it,

I believe we are the brightest of animals,

If we settle for one short of our type,

It's not because we are un-intentional,

We know what we are doing,

It is not that we are un-intentional creatures,

We may say we want this but we find ourself with different,

I know this for I experience it fast hand,

When I find myself torn between two,

The perfect kind of girl I have always wanted,

And the girl I have just met a second ago,

Who hurts my ribs cause she makes me laugh,

She doesn't come with the long her I like though,

But she is more,

If I cut her chest I'd find a white heart,

Spotless and clean without a fault,

She is as pure as white and as kind as a dove,

So why would I pass her for her hair that's short,

When when she is seated at the other end of the table I choke,

From the laughter she brings to my life,

Why would you pass her for a big ass?

Even when the whole world knows it's magic,

That men will jump if she bent to tie a lace,

Claiming that you like them small,

You can't be with her for its small!

That it doesn't fill up her jeans like it should!

What do you think she is, a balloon?

Do you want to blow her till it's full?

Or you think she forgot to blow it when she woke?

Be my guest be foolish and seize her not,

Ignore everything else about her except for that,

Pick your shallow 1%  and ignore the 99%,

Prove to us you lack even the slightest hint of wit,

We are human people please let's act the part,

I know we all like to believe we already know what we like,

Yes I said it we believe we 'know' what we like,

Am sure you know you don't 'know' everything,

So if you are under a thousand years with a mind that forgets,

Know now that you do not know everything,

Therefore you do not know what you like,

You melted at the taste of a blueberry cake yesterday,

the day before you believed blackforest was the best,

Kids are young hearted and  know they don't know it all,

Knowing that you do not know is a happy state itself,

Why do you always see them playful with smiles,

Give yourself freedom to try an Italian  ice-cream,

Trash the belief that dairy land tastes the best,

Trash the belief that the perfect girl can cook well,

She may cook meat to pieces of salted charcoal, 

But at least she leaves none of your dishes un-washed,

Promise me you will be human as human is,

Un-jail your emotional intelligence please,

Know that we are the most complex of beings,

We are more unique that every sky star is,

If you like someone to the extent,

That you feel you have to convince yourself,

That you don't love him just for his bald head,

Whereas his everything you might want,

But you still don't want to give him a chance,

You can go date a dinosaur,

Cause you and it are not human,

Jail your emotional intelligence,

So that you and the dinosaur are the same,

In fact when you are out of green grass like a dinosaurs were,

Have that idea that the perfect food is just green grass,

And if there is no green grass there is no other way,

You can't eat a leaf from a tree even though it's green,

You cannot eat light green grass cause it's not as green,

Then your love life should be as extinct as dinosaurs are,

Hot girls are hot girls even though their curves are different,

Caring guys are caring guys even though their eyes are blue,

You and your ridiculously high standards can run extinct,

Oh wait, you do not have a lover,

 ah! I see...

your extinction already begun!

Enjoy your beautiful evening,

plus  read my other notes,

They are at the top of this page,

I have had more than 90 views so far,

Thanks for reading my words,

I hope I will read yours too,

In form of emails and what not,

This note though is not a license to date a...,

For I myself will laugh at you,

Have some high standards please,

But let them not jail you,

Freedom is loved,

Love is freedom,

Freedom is love.

Predicting Your Unfaithfulness

You are as unfaithful as the word itself,
Just for you fit this description that follows,
You are potentially unfaithful,
For this traits in you are being born,
Some are already mature,
They are irreversible habits,
Some are teenagers,
There is still hope they will change,
Some are unfaithful,
For to them it's a choice,
Never to change or feel guilty about it,

You are unfaithful if you believe,
You need a healthy balanced diet,
Of different sizes of bananas,
Of different loli pop flavors,
Of different boobs sizes,
You want pears oranges and apple-mangoes,
Believing that man cannot live on one thing alone,
When you get bored of earth or your life,
Do you go to the moon to relax?

You are unfaithful as the word itself,
When your inbox is a very private affair,
Locked with passwords and security codes,
You might not have hidden anything yet,
But who locks the door if they have nothing to hide?
Human beings are very intentional beings,
Do we look like aliens?
Don't lie to us,
We are human too,
We know what you are doing,

You are about to be unfaithful if you are a flirt,
Your blood pumps at texts from the foreign gender,
The moment you let in innocent flirtation, it's done,
It's only a matter of time till you are weak,
Seeking to explore the other side,
When your inbox contact reads different guys,
When your call log past midnight reads other girls names,

You are unfaithful if your friends are,
Unless your will power is greater than social proof,
Which is greater than gravity,
I can see gravity applies to you too,
Are you floating in the air reading this?
You are unfaithful if your friends are,
Unless your will power is greater than social proof,
You do wear clothes because people wear them,
Those jeans you did not invent them,
Social proof makes you wear them,
If sleeping around is a belief of Cool-ness in your mind,
Then to be unfaithful you shall be quite easily,

You are unfaithful if you are empty,
Hobbies less and lifeless,
All you do is Facebook and sleep,
Discontented by your content life,
Always thinking you could do better,
Feeling you settled for less than you deserve,

You are potentially unfaithful if she is,
Or you suspect that she is a slut,
Or you distrust her as much as you do safaricom,
Feeling you are the one losing in the relationship,
feel that she had her fun before you got together,
But you did not get to let your loli party as much,

You are unfaithful by the mere fact you live today,
Where sex and an affair is at hands reach away,
A foreign boob is a 'friend request' away,
Open legs are a night club away,
A loli is a phone text message away,
The 21st century the era of convenience,
Need I tell you how convenient everything is?

You are potentially a cheater if you draw a line,
We shall sleep on the same bed but shag not,
I shall come to your place but we shall kiss not,
Our survival instinct are as evolved as our bodies,
Our survival instincts turn as angry and cautious,
Our belief system and thinking has importantly evolved,
When we hear she has been at his place as just friends...,
She even laughed together with him,
It's never just friends,

Even virgins have done 'all other things'
That is why love needs be true,
For to love someone means you can forgive,
Even if you do not forgive,
You will ignore open legs put before you,
Even though sexier than your girlfriend's,
love will lead you to pause,
Your girl's interest will come before yours
Just like you let her cum before you,
Love will lead you to pause,
Give a fake number to that stranger guy,
Look away and strangle that smile,
Gag that laughter dying to get out,
Let him believe his jokes aren't funny,
For back home you know you have love,

That's why love needs be true,
Pure and blemish- less,
Love is the weapon,
The only weapon is love,
To assassinate unfaithfulness,
If it is born our of a lie,
It's impurity will weaken the weapon,
Unfaithfulness shall survive,
A blood bath of broken hearts!
Let's be honest about love;
to truly assassinate unfaithful,
Let our weapon be pure,
Let our love be pure.
Prepare your weapon,
The war will come,
The war must come,
Remember Just Because You Believe it Not Doesn't make it Untrue.

Untitled (part 1)

I had seen her during assembly time, when we all stood in a semi circle facing the flag and our teachers. It was chilly and it was as if everyone had a cold. We froze there in the clothes in our uniforms. The first row of the semi circle had the form one students, the second was the form two, the third was form three and the fourth was the form fours. I was in the fourth line, standing with the form fours, but I was a form three, I think I stood with them since they were perceived to be the cream of the high school society. At the far left of the semi circle stood the school choir, very beautiful girls holding there hymn book and leading the national anthem. That very Monday morning I saw her.

Mondays are very dull days, mostly cause I would rash to class after parade to copy maths assignment which for some reason I always failed to not even complete but start to do. I hadn't done my assignment and I knew for sure I was going to get punished immediately after parade. Those are the thoughts and worries that ran through my mind as announcements were made by the teachers on duty, the senior prefect and the lecturers, usually I never heard a thing, my mind was always away, no wonder I always did not laugh when everyone else laughed when a joke was told. That Monday as I stood there in the crowd I saw the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, I saw an angel s beautiful I knew that if I went to the sky and saw real angels none would be as pretty as this one in her light and navy blue checked dress with buttons running from her bosom to her knees, wearing perfectly clean light blue sweater with the school badge on it, holding an open navy blue covered hymn book and singing like the other members of the choir.

She was breath taking, her skin was perfectly light and blemish less, her white socks were pulled up, outside the school it looked ridiculous to pull up socks that high but in school, boarding school where we only had contact with the outside the school one a month it was actually very trendy. Her eyes were as white as milk, they were perfect and happy, it was the first time I saw eyes and could describe them as happy. She seemed very passionate about singing, her dress swung from left to right, from right to left so did my eyes, for a moment it was as if I was lost, lost in a moment of happiness, joy and enthusiasm. She was so beautiful  felt happy that she merely exsisted. It didn't hurt that we were in the same school and that she was going nowhere, that is the beauty of boarding school, everyone is always around, if not in the dorm, in class if not in class, the field, dining hall...there were only so many places one could be.

I came back to earth I think after five minutes, I had been lost in her world. In gaining self awareness I found that I had my mouth agape, I still had my hymn book open unlike my other school mates, Moses my friend was staring at me and giggling with my other classmates. I felt like a cartoon, I just hoped they hadn't noticed who I was gazing at. I knew they would tease me so much that even the little confidence I had would vaporize and just like that I will have lost the balls of having even a conversation with her. I knew the task that lie ahead, I had to know her, I just did, that was already a beautiful Monday, even though I hated Monday's and knew I was going to be kneeling down for the whole of double first period for not doing my assignment, I was happy... 

To be continued on Wednesday...

(so far I have had about 60 views on my blog and 1 comment, it's a bit discouraging but I found out that 99% of people that read blogs do not comment, 1% do, I would love to hear you share your opinion and comments on my writing as I share my most inner most thoughts, secrets and experience with you on this journey. I wouldn't mind an e-mail too, I promise to find time to reply as soon as possible.)

Thanks for your reading. 
Hope you will visit my blog more often perhaps even bookmark it.
Enjoy your day precious people.

Other popular reads on this blog on a different page: 
1. predicting your unfaithfulness
2. Little slut

That Little Slut

I wanted her for I wanted someone beautiful,

She was as beautiful as a diamond,

Diamond is about cut,

Clouds and clarity,

It's rareness,

She was all those things and more,

Once I saw her in the best tailored suit,

The perfect cut,

Looking as expensive as diamond is,

Beautiful she looked,

Her skin clear with health,

Blemish-less like no clouds in my stone,

No clouds in my diamond,

Her hair with large braids,

Purple and black,

Matching her outfit,

Her skin light and beautiful,

She was happiness,

She did have a man,

She did have a job,

Sold insurance or something,

And that bought her nicest shoes,

Those heels,

Arched her body beautifully,

I had no regard for her having a man,

I tend to get what I want,

But let this story unfold,

And you'll see how my ego hurt,

How she dehumanized me,

Humiliated me,

She had a fall out,

Her relationship hit a rock,

She called me,

And I was there,

I encouraged her,

Got her mind off her misery,

We had a date on a Friday,

I was to take her for a cuisine,

I wanted to seal the deal afterwards,

But she came with her friend that day,

Frustrated my intentions just like that,

We went out together,

To club,

 With a couple of friends,

I was with her,

Her hand in mine,

We looked beautiful,

She and I,

Both of us,

I wore dark brown slacks,

She wore a beautiful brown dress,

We went to club,

And we got food,

Drinks flowed,

But every time she left my side,

I suspected to flirt,

To pick other men,

Or to be picked by men,

I waited there,

As she made her trips,

Like a Delilah,

She came back,

Smiling at me,

I received her,

With open arms,

But in the middle of the night,

She picked her clutch bag,

Claiming she rushed to the loo,

Minutes passed,

Hours passed,

I dialed her number,

Endlessly,

It was off,

She must have left,

With another man,

That little slut,

At that moment,

I was at the club,

Her legs were open,

To another man,

A stranger,

Maybe even did her rubber-less,

Where else could she have gone?

I broke,

But I had to keep my smile,

Wear it for the rest of the night,

But then I sneaked away,

My friends unaware,

I went to my pillow,

Half drank,

To weep,

They say everything that happens to us changes us,

But something as intense as this had to change me,

But rather than do this to another girl,

Revenge on another unsuspecting human,

I decided il not change for bad,

But change my discerning,

Never again,

Will I tolerate,

A beautiful girl,

Just because she is beautiful,

Never again will I be quiet,

Timid and complaisant,

To be used as a door mat,

For I have worked hard to be this way,

I still feel sad and angry,

But what can I do?

Water is spilt!

Am already crushed,

Unable to recover,

That little slut!

Un-Moved By This Is Inhuman- MIS-FORTUNATE YOU

I lay between my purely white soft linen bedsheets,
My cheek got caressed by my fine silk pillow case,
If I were to firt it would smell like a gourmet delicacy,
For I was full, happy, merry and as comfortable as a king
A king would actually bite his teeth in envy,
Money can't buy a good night dream,
That's as far as technology has gone,
We have Viagra and technologies such as that,
But still we can't take something to dream good and well,
In your dream you dreamed,
You dreamed yourself a beggar,
That's how your nightmare begun,
You were lame,
Your shirt was torn and dirty,
Your legs were diseased,
And flies hovered all over,
You couldn't work,
You were a leper,
You had no education,
Even begging seemed to require skill,
You were hungry,
Your stomach touched your back,
You felt envious of the people who walked by in suits,
All there basic needs were meet,
You couldn't even shower,
You had no access to water,
You dint know the feel of a bed,
You've never been in one,
The concrete is your bed,
You hope no gun shots will chase you,
You felt envious of the people who walked by in suits,
They had their shirts pressed,
You couldn't even walk,
The rings they wore could buy you an years supply of food,
But they bought them instead,
You had little ambition,
All you needed was food,
You dint want sex,
All You needed was a bath,
You could see some people cared,
They dropped a coin or too,
You bet some did it for religious reasons,
Some did it off habit,
If you had learnt,
If You could read and write,
You'd convince the world you were helpless and hopeless,
You'd  convince them that You intended not to be born this way,
Id ask them to just for a second think about me even when they see me not,
Not cause of anything can happen to anyone,
But because they put themselves into my shoes,
On the dirty street where people spit,
Watching a fellow human being walking by you in a distance,
Hoping that when they reach for their pocket they wont pull a ringing phone,
But a coin that will add up to the other coins and buy you food,
Perhaps even a mere 1000 shilling note that will change your life,
To buy health care that will end half of your disease,
When you walk by yourself as a beggar,
Don't ignore yourself but let yourself feel like human should,
Be the savior of the misfortunate you
For we are all humans,
We are all one,
Brothers and sisters,
Let's be all human,
To the misfortunate you.

You Not Know What To Live Is

Have you ever meet a beautiful person?
So beautiful you wanted to keep her?
So beautiful you'd never damp her?
I have!
And the first time we meet we sexed,
She gives it to me every time,
How and when I want it,
Not how they give it to you,
Way better,
If they gave papers for performance,
They'd be a k.c.p.e result slip and shed a phd,
So even being a man and shallow I'd keep her,
Just for that,
For men sometimes think with their 'heads',
But more than that she comes with it all,
The motherly words that would bring a wounded deer to life,
Give it hope and make it run even when half eaten by a lion,
She has a way of making you feel you are the man,
Even when your not that the things you want to be she already sees them in u,
She even sees the things you are the things you were so effortlessly,
She makes you feel you infect exists,
And you are the best thing that happened to earth,
You maybe a scum bag but just having one other human being c u...
Really see you...
You see why she is so beautiful and I let her leave not,
Besides at times she runs me breathless,
When she wears those big beeded necklaces,
Totally intone with her big bosom,
The bracelets too that sing around her wrist,
Reminds me of how her lips ring around my loli,
She is the most beautiful thing that exists,
And her coming into my life has been a beautiful experience,
I feel fuller,
We don't date,
But she can't dump me,
And I can't her,
For I need her,
Have you ever meet a beautiful person?
So beautiful you wanted to keep her?
So beautiful you'd never damp her?
I have meet a beautiful Person,
So beautiful am keeping her,
So beautiful il never dump her,
If u haven't you have not lived,
And you not know what to live is,
With her,
My life,
Is,
Full. Content.