Tuesday 21 June 2011

She Strikes When The Iron Is Cold

My fridge is fully stocked,
Even the ice cubes are ready,
Condoms are within reach,
Close to my bed,
And another under the pillow,
It will be our first kiss,
I will hold her hand,
Look into her eyes,
She will respond with her beautiful eyes,
And her huge hips too,
By drawing them close to me,
Her hand around my neck.
My door bell rings,
And my heart pounds,
It is thirty minutes late,
I breath in and out,
Open the door,
But it's not her,
Am back on the sofa,
I try to watch another episode of Season 1,
As I wait for her to show up,
She is an hour late,
The food I cooked for us is getting cold,
And the door bell rings again,
Do not show anger Mugo,
I tell myself,
Do not let her see you sad,
She will think that's your normal nature,
So I wear a smile though I feel tears in my eyes,
I will hug her first I promise myself,
I open the door,
With my faked smile,
But it's a wasted smile,
It is not her again,
This time I don't go back sit on the sofa,
I feel more comfortable on the carpet,
Next to the sofa,
Hugging a pillow,
With my head lying sideways against it,
I notice it is getting dark,
Time has really passed,
I close the curtains,
Afraid someone might see me in this state,
I look at my phone,
Refreshing my Facebook homepage,
Reloading it hoping a message will show up,
From her,
Since I haven't got her call,
Or her text,
With an excuse for not showing up!
And lying staring on the phone,
Even for hours,
Doesn't seem to make her text appear!
Should I text her that am sad,
That she did not show up when she said she would?
But what if she doesn't reply,
It will look pathetic and I will look like am pussy,
Then maybe I should text her about happy things,
I should text her about the things I like about her?
Perhaps tell her I love her creamy flawless beauty?
But if I text her something good it will be like,
Am rewarding her for standing me up?
If I text her showing am sad,
It will look like am a sad person?
But I can't not text her at all,
Cause that's the only way I will move from this carpet,
Switch on the lights to the already darkening house,
Put the food set on the table to the fridge,
So that it doesn't get bad,
My strength to do this will come from texting her,
She is beautiful,
And I want us to be happy,
That's why I have been freezing chocolates for her,
So I will not tell her that I am sad about today,
I will ignore that fully,
I will talk about good things,
For that is what I intend for us,
Shopping sprees and movies,
Happiness and laughter,
And not texts about how she stood me up,
So I send her a message,
Describing how intelligent she is,
She is very wise and she doesn't know it by the way,
Her bosom to is very soft by the way,
I thought I would touch it today,
I texted her all this,
She text back 'awww that is sweet'
Just 'awww that is sweet' no apology?
She must be watching a soap,
Her attention is somewhere else,
I convince myself,
That thought gives me the strength to rise up,
From the floor i had been sitting on,
I will try texting her at news time,
She wont be watching Telly then I guess,
Hungry but appetite less,
I finally put the untouched lunch into the fridge,
And find the chocolates I had got for her,
Lying there frozen well,
I contemplate on whether to eat them,
I should, I feel, for she made me sad,
She did stand me up dint she?
But again, she will really like them when she comes,
Let me leave them for her,
I decide.
I shut the fridge,
And go waste time on the bed,
Deciding what to text her,
It gets to nine already,
I put on the news,
And mute it shortly afterwards,
I need to concentrate on what to text her,
Before am done she does send a message back,
Telling me she had something to do today,
That's why she stood me up,
I text her back that I wish I was that 'something to do'
Then she would 'be doing me all day'
And am sure she bursts out laughing,
Cause I also do as i text her that,
I know I am all that,
Style, hair and eyes...
All she wants,
I could even be her accessory like her bracelet,
I know we would love sitting on one sofa,
On a Saturday afternoon,
After we are from the swimming pool together,
Watching Telly, having sex and ordering delivered pizza,
Rather than to cook,
Just enjoying life in college like we should,
But I can't tell her all this,
Cause she will think am all about getting into her jeans,
We have so much to offer each other,
She cannot see that,
She refuses to see that,
Cause at that very moment she updates,
A status update that is totally unrelated,
To anything between me and her,
That could only mean,
That as I sat on the floor,
That as I watched the chicken I prepared get cold,
As I changed my bedsheets into fresh clean smelling and softer ones,
She was having a normal day,
Even perhaps wore a short skirt,
Hoping to get hit on by some other guy,
Not knowing I am as ready as a baked cake,
To shower her with all the sweetness she hopes for,
To splash her with all the comfort I have her way,
To pull my friends into going to club,
So that when we are sipping beers and she is dancing,
She will be having fun and not have look around,
To see whether there is a man around,
To fill the table with cocktails,
Or notice the shoes she is wearing,
Cause I not only make sure drinks flow,
I make sure ice cubes swim in them,
And management plays the music she likes,
Besides the most beautiful girl has a man in his hands,
I wonder why she does not see this,
It never goes beyond any decent levels,
The touching or the stares,
Her phone rings lots of the time,
Who is this that keeps calling her?
Am sure it's her friends telling her,
Not to give it up too easily,
To play hard to get,
Taking advice about men from other women,
Not knowing that some men are different,
Like the one writing this,
And that dating doesn't have constant laws like gravity,
We are in a new generation,
Instant gratification,
Everything moves faster,
Even getting to know each other,
We do not send love letter like our forefathers,
Wait for months before they arrive,
We are fast and instant,
Women do you believe that?
Or you still want to caught as slow as Juliet was?
Show me the man who wants to be bought for shoes?
Doors to be open for him?
As proof that he is cared for by a girl,
Then when you can't find one,
Show me a man,
That just wants the woman and her body,
As testament and evidence that he is cared for,
As appreciation for the trouble he goes to,
Not making sure you just get the ice-cream you want,
But you enjoy it,
It surprises you,
and it's the right flavor,
Even the seat you sit on when it is served,
Is comfortable enough to help you enjoy it,
Am only guilty of liking you too fast,
I think someone has experienced it before,
The one that said love at first sight,
I wish I could show you all of me in a second,
That I can protect you,
When you walk at night in the street,
I would make sure I serve you drinks perfectly chilled,
But I can't in just a second,
If you would only showed up,
She is just thinking about how I will perceive her,
If she took time to know that,
Am passed thinking about me,
Am thinking about her and bringing her joy,
Thats why I even ask her the music she likes,
So that it can be found to be playing accidentally when we kiss.
You were with me again,
I drew my face close to you,
It was a sure thing we would kiss,
But your lips dodged,
I was left trying,
To revive a now awkward date,
You thought I lied about the chocolate I got for you,
But I really did eat all of them on that day,
I don't know what to say to you anymore,
Whether to tell you am frustrated,
Or continue to pretend things are fine,
Wear the mask of confidence and cool,
Am here getting my house organized,
Dressing up for our date,
And just when my shoes are on,
I find a message,
Begging a rain check,
Then I hear an update,
That you were heading to the beach,
I feel my fake smile tremble into a tear,
Just before it drops,
Halfway through a smiling message,
I throw my phone onto the floor,
And it's battery jumps out,
It gets a crack,
And I feel anger building inside me,
Who does she think she is?
Why is she treating me like this?
What the hell is wrong with me?
Have I been wasting my time?
You are saved by the bell again,
By the ringing of my phone,
Voice filled with promise,
'I will see you tomorrow dear',
You promise,
And just like that I smile a bit,
It sounds wrong,
her voice sounded too lusty,
Am half-happy that voice is here finally,
But half-sad too,
I know her too much,
A lot is at stake,
If the sex and the kissing don't go on well,
The next day,
I will lose her forever,
Plus I know her to well now,
She is too close to me,
But we only do what sisters and brothers do,
Should I call her and tell her am home she can come?
What if she wants us to have sex finally like she sounded?
How will we even go about it?
She has made me wait this long?
Does she ever think about me?
If she decides to come, let it be!
If she doesn't, well and good!
Beside I have suffered for liking her,
I have two choices,
To let her come here and frustrate me again,
Or to come here and I spoil it all up with nervousness,
And my door bell rings again,
And the girl that walks in kisses me tight,
Thoroughly with her hands around my neck,
it is not her that kisses me,
Another girl she looks at with jealous-filled eyes,
Now you want me?
After you have been around people I know?
Now you want me?
After I stop showing interest in you,
The confidence and coolness I show now attracts you?
You should have let me have everything when I was offering everything,
Even when I have you now,
I will not bother to freeze a chocolate for you,
I will not bother to tell you what fascinates me about you,
I am tired of all that now,
You killed the heart motivated to please us both,
I promise you I know a good thing when I see one,
We were a good thing,
But you ran elsewhere,
You tried to play hard to get,
What are we gaining from not kissing each other?
What are we gaining from kissing other people?
What did we gain from not sexing one another then?
Why didn't you strike the iron when it was hot?
Why didn't you offer me everything when I offered everything?
Now am offering nothing and you are offering everything,
At least now you have me as a cool confident man,
That's what you wanted!
I feel sad too.