Sunday, 24 July 2011

Letter To My 32 Year Old Self




Hi thirty two year old me,
You made it this far,
It's almost your birthday,
Who is that girl sunk in your mirror?
The mirror you standing before,
As you wear your tie,
The girl sunk in your bedsheets?
Calling you back to bed with her,
Is she the girl who is organizing your party?
You have done well for yourself thirty year old me,
She is really hot,
I bet she is a news anchor,
Are those your car keys on the table?
The SLR Mercedes ones?
And whose keys are those next to them?
The BMW ones?
I hope part of the bunch belongs to that naked girl,
In your bed,
They must not both belong to you,
Cause that would almost mean you do illegal stuff,
Or you are carless enough to drive two luxuries,
Instead of swelling up a few trust fund accounts,
For the seed still unfertilized in your grapes,
It can't be depressing reading this,
When I am thirty something,
Cause I wrote myself something like this,
Back then when I started high school,
I think I had my bipolar depression the beginning of it,
And I have my grades to totally prove it,
And much more than that,
It kept me sane imagining future me right now,
In law school,
Throwing pent house parties for my birthday,
With hotel room service at the door step,
With large shower sprays and multiple shower heads,
In almost completely glass walled and glass-doored orgy showers,
pent house suits with plasma screens,
And martini glasses on the table the morning after,
With the best friend the ones I cherished most,
And my un-attending best friend sending me a really old bottle,
Of the smoothest tasting vodka coming almost with a manual,
I dreamed of such things,
I hoped for things such as a philanthropic heart,
That I could actually be able to boost that I have been to,
Children's homes all around the country,
With a boot filled with love for the needy,
When offloaded sends of smiles to every child that is needly crying,
Crowded in circles next to the off-loading car,
Ask the girl I was with,
Some dates I dragged her to places as such,
You should totally fall in love with me? Lol
So when I write my thirty two year old self this,
I am brave cause now I know I am in manic mood,
And I feel more intelligent than Michael Scofield was,
If you'd look at my diary you would know,
The utopia I experience right now boarders very closely on insanity,
Just like it did years back,
But my disease is what is going to make me,
Look myself in the mirror and smile at me,
Though even then I will not be able to tie my tie as well,
I will look at the mirror and smile at me,
And the girl in the back ground,
Who gives head for days,
Who wants to change the world like I do,
Who will stick around when the cycles of unproductively starts,
Though I am preparing for them,
Now that I know what they are and how they come,
I know she will care for me when I am purposeless,
Hide my credit cards when about to make bad judgements then,
Sex my balls dry when I start to seem to want to look,
For purpose in the legs of another girl,
But I will not cause I would love her,
She is nothing I can work on like the houses,
The cars and the watches,
The shoes and the leather couches,
The golf swings and the club memberships,
The careers advancement and the business skills,
The parties for philanthropy,
The well-travelled personality,
She is just something that I hope for and pray for,
Friends you can find easier and maintain relationship simpler,
It is hard but simple in ways,
Don't people make friends all the time?
But love looks and seems like a thing out of my control,
It's all in the power of Cupid who was not so jazzed when he saw,
I have a photo of him stabbed in the post 'valentines the 13th',
But next time he should know better and send me true love,
Then I will post a better photo of him on this blog,
To my 32 year old self,
I promise,
I will do all I can to ensure you enjoy yourself,
And the others that will be around you,
Like my almost 16 year old self ensured I enjoyed,
My 20 year old self when my folks discussed me,
And how proud they have been of me,
As we sat randomly at that table we always sit on at the club,
When everyone is always wearing something blue,
My dad in his navy blue velvet jacket,
That is from the same fabric as my mum's except for shape and structure,
And me in my navy blue khaki trousers,
Still unable to wear socks with loafers,
To my 32 year old self,
Enjoy your birthday party,
I hope a plate costs a fortune,
And the guest list are of loose wallets,
So that all the proceeds go to some needy fellows,
And remember to propose to her,
On her birthday to,
Cause it is that year you start applying,
To the best of schools,
Who else is afraid of writing this letter?
Thinking it might depress them more than impress them?
Only lions can rule the leafy jungle,
Only lions can be brave!
Who will rule this concrete jungle?
Only the brave enough,
Only the brave enough,
Cupid?
Be nice this time,
Time is against you,
We have planes now,
Even rockets for space,
Don't let me down,
I know where to find you.

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