Ladies and Gents, welcome again, I am Bobby, and am opening my heart.
Let's begin by slicing my heart open, shall we...
There are battles you choose to fight. And when I say there are battles we choose to fight I want to lay emphasis of the word choose.
The battles I am talking about here are duels, if you may... Let me explain. Unless you are an alien, and I hope aliens are not reading this. Wait... I hope they are, more readers equals more viewers, right? So, welcome to earth aliens and welcome to astoldbybobby, I hope you comment more here, this humans just read and go you know.
Aliens am assuming you have once had a girlfriend, or a boyfriend right? Yes. Okay. Moving on. Have you ever been sliced? Sliced is a polite way of saying that 'some guy stole your girlfriend. And saying some guy stole your girlfriend is a polite way of saying, she stopped opening her legs for you now she opens them for another guy better than you.
Let's assume you have, its okay, even for us humans it okay not to admit we have been dumped openly, its horrific. So, what do you do when that happens? Leave it alone or fight for her? Fight with her? See the kind of fights am talking about? Battles of love, battles for love...
So as I said there are battles you choose to fight, and there are others you choose not to. Battles of love... Battles for love...
Why do you choose not to fight some? Simple, common sense... But since common sense is not common... There are battles you choose to take up and some you choose not to, if you go against your better judgment and choose to fight a battle you cant win, you will be scared for life. Your ego will not be as inflated as chewing gum blown into a balloon by an obnoxious arrogant girl. Rather it will be tiny like gum on the street stepped on by everyone with their dirty feet. So it's your choice, would you want your ego on the dirty street like dirt being stept on unnoticed, or you would rather your ego be in a hot arrogant hot girls mouth being blown?
(yeah, I also think that line was genius, ego blown, gum... Am also shocked at how i came up with that, no? Yes? Thanks? Thanks)
So, now that we have established where we want our egos. Ladies and gentlemen. Let me talk about the man that left my ego on the street, stepped on by dirty shoe soles like it didn't matter shit. Let me talk about the guy that my girlfriend dumped me for.
This guy walked in holding my girl in his arms. Did I give a Fxxx, oh yeah I did! You would too. Unless you are an alien, how does it work with you aliens reading this by the way? Would you care if you watched the girl of your dreams walk into a klub holding hands with some dude?
I wasn't there to get laid, but I wouldn't mind if anyone offered. Especially when I saw them. I was ready to be taken home by anyone in a skirt, even you aliens, if you were in a skirt, you could take me home.
I was there to drink so as to play titanic, drown my sorrows and attempt to have a good time. I was running away from the reality that I had lost my girl to a guy that was better than me. It hurts me to admit it. So here I am trying to get my girl and his new dude off my mind and what do they do, they come to the bar I am drinking at... Dammit!
"Bartender fix me something strong"
I downed it in seconds.
"Bartender, fix me three other stronger ones."
Somehow I thought the more I drank the more invisible they would become or I would become. I guess that wasn't enough vodka to drown my sorrows.
"Bartender fix me something strong"
Dudes, damsels and aliens. As I said, there are fights we pick the ones we can win, but there are also battles we don't pick, the ones we cant win. Battles for love... Battles of love...
Even that drank I knew it in my balls, I knew I didn't have the balls to handle this new guy with (my) girl. He was too good, he seemed smarter, he looked kinder, braver, more a gentleman, i trusted (my) girl's taste, even at that time she was with him. If she left me she would leave me for better.
I didn't have the balls to fight with her, I didn't have the balls to fight with him, I didn't have the balls to fight for her. You required three balls to fight three of those battles, with her, for her, and with him. I only had the balls to fight two battles, to fight with her and for her.
Why didn't I fight with him? Firstly, cause am not an alien and I don't have three balls, secondly cause the new guy she was with was a total rock star. I had nothing on him. He wore a pair of dark jeans better than mine, that looked more closer to khaki than mine did, heck he even wore a finer shirt than I wore. His hair was longer and curlier than mine... But mostly when I saw (my)girl trying to rub her ass on his balls as they walked, i knew he was a total rockstar cause (my) girl is different. She doesnt just do that anyhowly. What did I do? Rush there and smack him in the face. Go pull my girl away and tell her I loved her? What did I do?
"Bartender, what is wrong with you? I told you I want a stronger drink man. I need a stronger drink man, keep them coming... Keep them coming."
They look like real stars together, drank guy, can't carry himself well, but in his drunk stupor is still able to lead (my) girl.
Was he exaggerating his drankness to look cooler, it was working, dammit. Even I knew it was. He even exaggerated helping (my) girl up the steps. NkT. He held her inappropriately as he showed how better a gentleman he was drank than i could be even sober.
And she (my) girl was holding him like he had known him all her life. The same way she used to hold me. Touching his chest, without a care in the world. What a party, dammit, what a bloody party, and they were doing all this before they sat down. In front of me? Don't tell me they hadn't seen me. What would they do when the sat down? Exchange rings? Get married. Have public sex? NkT.
There they were having the time of their life. There i was, having the time of my life, where? You ask, I was having the time of my life in fresh hell. Hell had been delivered to me fresh and hot like a pizza. And as I ate up hell, I watered it down with the jealousy of watching (my) girl make out with that guy, and I tasted like depression. Not anger, with anger you fight battles for...you can win. But depression comes when you are angry but then you can not do jack about it. Yes, I was depressed.
Where are bouncers when you need them? Couldn't they see the way he was touching her? Couldn't they see the way she was touching him? There was no way she had gone under the table to pick the phone she dropped that long. Why was he showing her he was licking his fingers after he had made her eyes roll like that? Where are bouncers when you need them? Incompetent good for nothing bastards. Don't pretend you didn't see what was going on. (aliens please capture those bastards and take them to your prisons)
"Bartender, come on, get me something stronger, what is wrong with you, don't you listen! I want to get fxxxed up, okay? Now pour me something serious, and not this crap you pouring me."
Do you think they saw me when they walked in? Do you think they did? Did they do all that looking at me? Could she have seen me and went on to give this new guy everything she had given me, at places where she had refused to give me?
I decided to believe they hadn't seen me, I chose to believe she hadn't seen me.
Cause lets face it, it made me feel better. I needed to feel better. Don't you think I needed to feel better? Yes. Everyone thinks so, no? Yes!
Every time i stood to dance, women gave me a funny look? Was it the shirt I was wearing? But then this other guy, the guy with (my) girl, walked in like he was the star, I can almost swear dj played a tract to match with the grand entrance they put all eyes were them, all the girls accidentally bumped on him, by mistake no? I dint think so too. And the girls, dudes stared at her, wanting her, I wanted her. I couldnt believe he was having her.
They said hi to everyone, people came and said hi to them, took care of them they ignored people. The party rocked, but can you imagine, they took a beer or two, a table was laid out for them and in a few they left. I had to scout for a table when i came, for long and chairs and I was buying lots of drinks, but no, they get special treatment and I didn't. It really got to me.
I wished someone could come say hi to me, just one person, maybe she would notice me, I wanted to make her jealous. I was so pathetic I thought I had a shot.
They walked out, after a little while, after taking over the dance floor, throwing thunder, making indecent scenes as the loud music covered them. And now they were walking out, an hour after. No wonder she left me for him. This guy was super cool. She let him touch her however he wanted, even in public. What have they been doing in private then?
Oh please, oh please, oh please not that car. They got in it. He opened the door for her, he was a perfect gentleman. The back seat. No way? A driver, yes way. he opened the door for her, and the driver opened the door for him on the other side of the back seat. A gentleman even with a driver opens the door for his lady, let the driver open the door for him, but for the lady, no. Gentlemen. The driver got in, then he got out and stood out of the car.
Everyone could see the car, but no one saw it like I saw it. None felt it like I felt it, it shook, I could swear there were light screams, but the music was loud. They were doing it, she must be blowing him right there, and the driver just stood there to make sure they had their privacy. What the hell? See, fights I can't pick. Battles of...
The bouncers wanted to stop them, they came close to the car. But the driver stopped them. "Let the cat have in peace." There she was, taking off in an orgasm like a plane on a run way, one, two, three, orgasm, orgasm, orgasm.
She emerged from the sun roof a while later, so they were having looking at the moon while at it. Her hair was unkempt and so was her dress. She came out from the top of the car, then the guy followed. He had a bottle of wine. They shared the bottle.
In the midst of their laughter, they shouted at the driver. "let's go..."
I drank some more. No, I drank a lot more.
"Bobby, you know that guy writes like you do, he is a lawyer too"
She always had a thing for writers, (my) girlfriend. And his blog was on a webpage, not a blog. He had his own webpage. Dammit."
My friend told me.
I drank more.
Right there, at that moment, I was ready to go home with anyone, anyone in a skirt. I was really ready, I had been humiliated to my last. I wanted to die.
I looked so pathetic, I wasn't in my element, and women notice that. I had no chance. Besides... I loved the girl. And I didn't want anyone else.
He might have a driver? He might drive a car with a bloody sunroof, that allows you to see stars as you see stars at the back seat, he might be a better writer than I was, but I wasn't going to sit there and watch her leave with another man.
When I lost her to this guy, I had lost everything. She was my everything. Battles for love... Battles of love... Let whatever happen happens.
I started to run towards the car. Before anyone could catch my drank self I was on the car bonnet.
Trying to balance on it and get to the roof.
I got to the sun roof.
And I kissed my girl.
And she kissed me back.
I tried to punch the guy next to me. The guy who she had left me for. But I was punching the air.
She held my face. She planted a kiss on me.
"Bobby, are you really that high? Stop throwing blows in the air."
Baby, I will always change, cause I always want better for myself. I hope even as I change you will stick with me, leave the old me for the new me I become with the dawn of every new day.
So ladies and gentlemen, it was me that walked into that club with that girl, it was me ten years in the future... It was me with a driver... And still touching my babe inappropriately at a club... I was punching in the air...
Because even with the time machines of the future you can't be in two time zones at once. Scientists will be working on trying to have people exist in two time zones, as an additional application for the time machines they will have already created.
Wassup aliens? Only you understand how it feels to see yourself in the future.
(see why it was a good thing I invited aliens at the begining of this post, no? Yes!)
Dudes, damsels, and aliens let's change and explore ourself for the best version of ourselves. And let's hope that as we do that, our girlfriends will stick around to watch us grow.
Battles for love... Battles of love... Battles for change... Battles of change... Battles for better... Battles of better... All battles to be won... All battles... my friends.
