I don't want to break,
But it's too late,
I let myself free,
To fall completely,
To fall for you completely,
So that I got all the fun and bliss,
And you were here on my bed,
You slept right here on the right side,
For almost a week,
You were here,
I never slept alone,
You sprayed perfume under the pillow,
And it is heavy on my nose,
It's intoxicating,
But I am not coughing,
Like intoxicating strong scents make you,
But my eyes are stinging with tears,
After a few sentences they flood my eyes,
Then they sink back in,
Then they flood out again,
Never falling,
Always balancing,
I am trying to balance this love,
I let myself fall for you completely,
But did I really let myself or it just happened?
Am I trying to say I let myself fall for you,
To try to make myself believe that it is in my control,
While it actually isn't,
I saw a note under the pillow,
I haven't opened it yet,
You said it was supposed to be a treasure hunt,
Like the one I made you on that first day,
I see the note under the pillow,
Another on my bed,
Another in the sitting room,
But I haven't opened any yet since you left,
If I open them what will be left?
What will be left of you if I read it?
They are the last memories of you,
So try to believe me when I tell you to give me sometime,
Before I start on the treasure hunt with all these notes,
You have hidden all around the house,
I will not use the microwave,
I understand your concern that I might burn the house,
Since you left a letter there,
But baby if it's not to eat I will not,
You have left,
But I can smell you,
The bed feels lonely without you,
I want to put this iPad on my bed side and turn to kiss you,
Not to write that I want to kiss you,
Or am kissing you,
I want to hold your face,
And watch it turn into laughter,
You know you talk with your eyes,
You show surprise absolutely lovely,
Your scent wafts all over this bed,
The fan is rotating,
So there are hints of your sent in the air,
Not a complete supply,
But an on off on off supply,
Like my heart beat,
That rhythm,
I miss you dear,
I could write for days,
Hoping I could miss you less,
So that I ran a little less crazy,
But I can't help it,
I miss you completely and thoroughly,
Am afraid I will get mad,
And start literally running towards you,
Forgetting I have things to do,
I let myself fall,
Or is it you swept me off my feet,
And do you know the worst part is,
I might just be imagining I am feeling your scent on my bed,
It might not be there,
I miss you so much it turns real,
Besides when I close my eyes I see your face perfectly,
Heck even when they are open and I am day dreaming,
I thought I loved other girls,
I thought I found them beautiful,
I felt like some were stollen away from me,
I felt like some I stole away,
I felt jealousy in me,
I felt some made bad decisions and now feel jealous,
But right now,
At this moment,
I feel like I don't give a fuck about any of them at all,
And that had been my greatest ruin,
I rather feel the scent of your perfume,
Whether it is hear or my heart misses you so much,
It imagines it,
I would rather not open this treasure hunt notes,
Just so that I can be surprised one day,
When I miss you more than I do today,
And I know I will miss you more than I do today,
Tomorrow,
And just before I ran mad,
I will open the letters and do the treasure hunt texting you,
And it will feel like you were here,
I will wear the bracelets you sent me,
And the ones we bought together,
Will never come off my wrist,
And the shirt you got me,
You have got me quite a number,
But the one we got together,
The pink polo one with tuxedo short collars,
That one has memories,
And you can be sure I will always over wear it,
once every week,
Cause I will feel like am with you on that day,
And when I wear it I will not even hug girls that day,
At least once every week,
Until we meet again...
I swear I feel your perfume deep on my pillow.
