There she was,
A lecturer just throwing words,
Throwing jokes at us to,
Right to our faces,
We almost laughed off our seats,
"you can't think with those things in your ears"
It was the head phones she was talking about.
It was a passing comment,
It got lost in my brain like this blog will get lost in your mind,
Then at one moment when you're bored in bed,
You will remember.
I was standing in front of a mirror,
I remembered,
"you can't think with those things in your ears"
I pulled down my trousers,
Slowly,
When you are in deep thought everything is in slow motion,
I was looking at myself in the mirror,
I was so proud of myself,
I wanted to change my name to Proud.
I pulled down my trousers,
They were soft to my skin.
Navy blue khaki trousers.
Just the color my dad loves,
I must be becoming more and more like him.
I stared at the mirror and smiled louder,
I was so happy about myself,
I could feel it in my heart.
I think doctors lie to us,
Where I felt good was in the middle of my chest,
Not on the left side where they claim my heart to be.
I kicked out my shoes,
They are boat shoes,
Soft on their soles.
Can't scratch a floor.
Wonderful loafers.
Such good quality,
They would last for years I was sure,
They have to.
I must get used to them.
They will match with the boat I will be relaxing on one day.
They will not scratch the polished deck.
I had no socks.
I feel like such a rebel when I don't wear socks.
It's my way of telling society,
You can screw yourself.
I am on a different path,
I will rebel against your old system of doing things.
I am my own person.
I love to feel the beauty of this world in a different way.
The floor at nice restaurants feel great,
When I kick my shoes off,
And step on the bare floor under the table.
Enjoying fish fingers for lunch.
I looked at myself and smiled so loudly,
It was actually a screaming smile,
Especially when I thought about how my khaki pants slide up,
When I sit down,
I am not exactly the same person I was when I was a kid,
I appreciate the process of walking out of woolworths,
And heading straight to the tailors,
I am not a kid anymore.
I appreciate well fitting trousers.
I pulled out my sweater.
Stared at it falling next to my feet in the mirror,
It's my sister who picked it out for me,
We were spending more time together,
Like families in a good relations do.
I was proud of myself,
It's not easy to laugh with your family,
Especially when they study in countries far away.
I have grown,
Not like in the days when I used to forget to send her birthday cards,
I appreciate her now.
I looked at myself,
I was smiling with my eyes.
I have been reading about body language,
And other things important my school curriculum lacked in,
Now I understood what smiling with the eyes means,
I moved closer to the mirror.
So as to look closer at my smiling eyes.
And I saw my skin,
I knew how to take care of it.
Also that I had learned.
How it sometimes repels when I wash it too much,
It becomes too oily then.
what times it turns so dry...
I had understood myself better.
I know myself better.
What my body needs,
What my heart needs.
Who I am.
I took a step back at the mirror,
And stared at myself a little more.
I loved the way my shirt fitted.
I hadn't bought it from Manix,
I had bought it from a supermarket.
I had bought it from Tuskys.
It's stripped with fine lines of white and blue.
It completely blends in with the old boys circle.
All successful men have one of those.
I can't be too different.
I realize now that I have to blend in sometimes in their culture.
But it doesn't read Marks and Spenser,
If anything I think it's made from China,
Like Nokla is made in China.
I bought it in Tuskys right?
The fabric is eternal,
It will last forever.
It fades slower so I can wear it more often.
And it costed a zero less.
It fits me perfectly.
I told my Taylor to slim it around the arms to fit me better,
I tipped him more cause he is trying to put his kid through high school.
He definitely did a better job on it,
Cause it makes me blend well into the old boys circle.
but it's different since I wasn't mindless about doing it like they were,
I spent my resources differently,
For the same effect.
It will reflect in the same way in my investments,
I will keep to the traditions of investments to some extent,
Like the fine white and blue stripped I see me wearing in the mirror,
But the substance of my investments will be a bit different,
In substance like my fabric is different in substance,
And the tailor...
I looked at myself in the mirror,
I was smiling with my whole face.
I swear I saw my feet an inch above the ground.
I rubbed my eyes.
Could it be I was dreaming?
Am I an angel?
I rubbed my eyes and laughed.
My feet were on the ground.
I guess I must have been dreaming so loudly,
My dreams were turning into reality.
Right in the mirror before me.
I looked at the mirror,
I saw my hair,
It is just the right size I want it to be,
I remembered visiting the berber.
He is a charming fella that man,
"if you give them too much money they will think you have money"
And it's never a good thing to look like food,
With this inflation thieves are hungry.
So I pretended I thought the hair cut cost more,
He let me think that.
And swore that I was also struggling to survive.
I looked at the mirror,
And looked at my hair,
I must be as wise as my mothers words.
I smiled at the mirror,
With a face radiant with unending joy.
I only had my shorts on now.
I secretly wished my tummy had boxes.
But my skin looked smoother than a year ago.
I smiled and was radiant about it all.
My skin was fresher and radiant.
I thought of the Apricot Scrub something...
I don't know it's name very well,
But it has made my skin feel so much fresher.
I looked at my hands,
They had some ink on them.
More ink than they should have.
I must be blogging to much,
Writing too much.
I was happy cause I know I was getting better.
With my playing with words,
It is good for my heart to enjoy some pointless things,
Like blogging.
I looked at myself in the mirror.
I was happy.
I had placed myself almost fully naked before a mirror,
Without head phones on,
"you can't think with those things in your ears"
It wasn't a waste of time.
Standing in front of that mirror without my head phones.
With all the opportunity in this world.
I could be anything.
And everyone is advertising who I should be.
I had looked at myself in the mirror,
Looked at each piece of who I am.
And I was happy.
I hadn't been swayed by opportunities in the world so much,
That I lost who I was.
Oh except for my having too much ink on my fingers.
I have only taken with me the opportunities I need to be me,
And I love me right now.
I looked at the mirror.
I could see the love for me I had in my eyes.
I looked at the mirror,
I was only wearing my shorts.
I started to think,
As I was pulling them off,
I looked at the mirror,
My shorts had...
Look at you...
you really don't expect me to tell you even that!
Good night folks.
