Ladies and Sirs,
Good afternoon, the weather is perfect, clear sky and my emotions are in the sky. They are high proper. Perfect time to write.
As usual, let's start with a little marketing. My friend, Mr. Google. She is under 10 years but apparently knows much more than we all do combined. He gave me some advise on marketing my blog.
Yes, you know him too well now, don't you? No, I will not tell your lecturer you consult Mr.Google during exams, don't worry. But I know you do!
Sirs and Ladies, Mr.Google in all his wisdom told me I should tell you guys to share my blog posts, the ones you like. And he emphasized that I shouldn't beg you, cause it's beneath you and me both to beg. He told me I should give you very strong reasons why you should like my fan book page on Facebook. He asked me not to blog as much too by the way. What can I say I can be a rebel sometimes, isn't this a Sunday blog? And am blogging on Friday! I can't just stop myself, it makes me feel in my complete element.
I consider myself a genius, some use that word to flirter me, some consider me... Which is not flittering, but either way, let's just say the majority carried the day. It's a democracy you know. So, since naturally, we are all selfish being as Google said, which in my opinion is kind of intelligent, to some extent. Isn't it the whole point of survival for the fittest. Guys are running around in green screaming global warming, you know how evil they have made smoke emitting companies look, even in cartoons, and years back, we loved smoke in all forms, there was even an advert
'my doctor smokes embassy, smoking is healthy'
Whose doctor smokes embassy today? We are selfish, to the extent we want good for ourselves, and think global warming, it roots come from our being selfish too, we don't want companies spoiling our environment for us and our kids and thus how selfishness turns selfless.
Don't worry am getting back to topic, in a minute... MrGoogle asked me to ask you to share the posts you like, and like my fan page. Apparently
'ask and it shall be given to you in full measure...' works. Mostly on the internet, cause Internet forward people are very generous and kind... Intelligent too.
Here is my string string reasons for asking you to like my page. Doing what MrGoogle said... When you like my page it's like accepting my friend request, you find my updates on your new feeds, thus means every time I post a blog post it will be like I have updated my status. Twira is generally obvious too, if you follow me, you find my updates as tweets in your TL. (twirl jargon hehe) Since you already like my blog, umh, imagine how better it will be in a few years? With all the help from MrGoogle and the thing about Practice makes perfect?
If you don't like my page however, I will disappear out of your life forever. It's like you have rejected my friend request. And you will continue to live, and I will continue to live, and our life's will be perfect, but we will never know how you are doing, how I am doing and that will be tragic. And I will miss you, but you know Ladies and Sirs, I did my part. So are we breaking up or are we bonding?
The skies are bright and my apartment is being cleaned. The house help showed up today. It will be one of the last days she cleans this house, cause as you know am moving. (Only those who like my page know this, hehe, marketing yes, no?) I am thoroughly excited. I have an exam coming up, but you know human nature, exam is never a priority, so instead I will head to Nakumatt Cinemax later on this afternoon, have their Ice-cream, there is a restaurant there with yellow umbrella shades and leather seats. They have see food and ice cream Sundaes so large you can't see your date on the other side of the table. Once this mama is done cleaning, I will go have myself a fresh shower, press the shower gel a little more generously, wear comfortable shoes and go window shopping and ice cream eating alone.
Yes, alone. Why am I doing window shopping? Cause I think that's what genius is all about. Achieving an end, achieving a goal. And my goal is to have my project complete. By project I mean the work to be done on my new house.
I am unsure whether the iPhone 5 is out, you know the one with the laser lighting and all, I don't know about it but I will get it. I have heard enough rumors about it. I will book the first lot when it is out, a phone with laser lighting you cannot just put a price on it.
You see, the ones who make the iPhones are genius, cause genius is an end, a goal. I bet the whole thought behind the iPhone was,
'phone screens scratch and look old'
then the geniuses who made them told themselves, come on guys how about we make a phone that is scratch proof.
You would say the guy who came up with the holster (pocket case) to cover phones was a genius, the holsters you buy on the streets, since they served the purpose, the phones don't scratch when in the holster.
Then you would call the guy who came up with the BlackBerry Storm 2 holster even more of a genius, cause the phone recognizes when it's in the holster. You can set it to vibrate and ring when it's in it's holster and to get to silent mode when it's out. That's an additional feature, which I consider genius, it serves the purpose, it doesn't scratch and it has other added advantages.
But then we have the iPhones, should we get a holster for the iPhone? No, let's make a screen that is scratch proof. I still haven't gotten over the idea that my iPad screen will never scratch. I don't need a sleeve for it, the screen is bloody scratch proof. Tell me you can show me an old iPhone and I will show you a lier.
In my line of thoughts, I see the world like that. No, I do not invent iPhones, not even the sleeve, if I did I wouldn't be writing this. I would be busking in the glory of my success somewhere in a private island.
I see the world like that, as ends, and right now the end, my goal is to renovate my new house, customize it to what my personality is about. (an extension of me like this blog is) And yes, I can be organized like that, I have a strategy for everything. If you were in Bobby's mind you would be playing chess from morning till evening, even when watching Telly.
Right now I have a plan, I can't stop myself from trying to arrange my life. House help finishes cleaning the bathroom, take shower, wear comfortable shows, go to Nakumatt Cinemax, meet friend, have ice-cream and some snack, look at house plants, put down their cost in my phone, go to Nakumatt Nyali, look at lighting fixtures, take down their costs, check out leather sofas, note down their cost, as I head back to town, reply to my emails, get my KRA Pin, go to School, get home, call my girlfriend, watch the news, order a pizza... (pitsa as my friend says it, I bet he combs his hair before he sleeps, he is so proper)
I live randomness to sex, partying, and weekends. I shop on impulse during weekends, I kiss at the command of my heart. But on weekdays I go according to plan, I deviate a little though, cause that's life, but mostly I go as by plan. If I don't, then things take another turn... Bobby, which turn?
Here we are, end of the month, there I am, I haven't packed, my land lord is shouting on the phone, asking me when I am leaving, and what is ringing in my mind is, where shall I find all this damn boxes to pack?
Bobby, that isn't as bad. Yes, it isn't but am not the kind to settle for that 'not bad', I like the best, what can I say. I like seeing things work out the way I want them too. Getting what you want is addictive you know, you can't turn it off. You get out of home, and the script is flipped, you forget to buy breakfast you wake up running to the shop. You forget to buy dinner, you sleep hungry. You forget to go to the bank you have to use a taxi, they are the only ones that can wait for you to go to the bank wait for you to withdraw something then pay them later. Getting what you want is addictive, and it just doesn't have an off button. And let's face it, if I don't get what I want I get depressed, and Bobby will start writing very depressing posts, no jokes, do you want that? No, tell me, really do you? Yes... You are unbelievable. Anyways, so what's the solution? The solution is chess. With chess you get all you want, and getting all you want is rarely served with depression, more often than not it is served with happiness on a silver platter. And not just chess, chess with results. I don't want to invent a scratch proof screen, I just want to have it, buy it, and to buy it I need to draw a bloody budget, why? Cause am not bloody home, where I can get a flat tire and make a phone call to get picked up. Am alone here, I am independent. (sucks, in it's own way but also it thrills, yeah, I know)
So, shower, collect all estimates cost of all the house plants, the electrician, how much are they charging these days by the way these days? The carpenter? the fixtures,? items at the hardware stores...? And at ends day I will arrange them with priority. I want to get the keys a week before I move in so I guess money must exchange hands, (bribe?) I need to get a radio to play loud music so that the neighbors don't call the land lady screaming that someone is demolishing the apartment downstairs. I want all the workers to work together, cause the carpenter must work with the electrician, and the radio must work with them all, cause they are going to tear down everything I find shitty, like the curtain box, the tailor must be there, working together fixing the curtains. And the radio must be loud, so that when the landlord asks what's all the racket about, he wouldn't know am destroying his curtain boxes replacing them with rods, knocking down the doors and replacing them with glass doors. He will think am just having a party, unless you share this post with him. Don't! With your friend, yes, definitely...
The day I move, I want it to be ready, I don't want to move my things and have some plumber with smelly feet stepping on my carpet. I don't want to sit down watching people work, make sure they don't steal my things, I want to leave them with keys in an empty house a week before I move, and I want them to complete their tasks in a week. Besides, it takes sometime for paint to stop stinking. Which man let's his girlfriend sleep in a room smelling paint, I want to be the reason why she runs out of breath, not my walls, or DuraCoat! Shish...
I like what I want when I want, do you like what you want when you want? No? Yes... We not home, home is home cause someone makes everything fall into place so well you don't realize that generations and generations of your family has somehow indirectly made it that way.
But guess what, you have home forever but not everyday. No one reminds you your dish subscription is expired, no one reminds you to pay your electricity bill, (stupid Kenya power, it's very barbaric to take away my fuse, who dies that?)
No one reminds you to pay your bills and if you employ someone to do that you will not buy an iPhone5, and it's you who will get mad when you open the fridge at night and find emptiness, after a long day that's what you need dammit, it's you who will wake up in the middle of the night and find that you do not have drinking water, and you will get more mad, and when you turn on the Telly to take your mind off your trouble the stupid decoder shows red, and the screen is black. And you get so mad, you are so hungry, you can't find food cause it's too late, you take wine and bread, cause thats the only thing that never gets finished. So, wine to replace water, and bread to work as supper. (don't tell anyone, its embarrassing having bread for dinner, we not in freaking france)
You serve this weird meal the set the table cause even when you are eating air burgers technically, you have it in style, with proper shiny cutlery, and out of habit you turn the Telly on again, and yes it pisses you off again, and when it pisses you off you contemplate on breaking the stupid decoder, not knowing that it is you who will pay for it. As well as collect its broken pieces on the floor the next day when you are sober. And you just drink your wine and eat your bread, and mosquitoes aren't sensitive, even when you are having a bad day, they still want bite you cause you forgot to get refill you mosquito repellant. Insects are so uncivilized! NkT!
And your girlfriend calls you, and you talk back at her, then she hangs up. And you love her, and you are mad at yourself for taking it out on her, and all she wanted to day was good night. Now what have you done Bobby? Wait a minute, you can't call her back? You didn't buy airtime? Oh Bobby... Mosquitoes. NkT!
What can I say, my script was flipped, I got into a different world, I got out of home, things just don't happen by the way!
You just have to make sure everything falls into place out here, you screw up and you sleep hungry that night.
It's a different world out here, I could bitch but nothing changes, people are concerned but soon you become a nuisance to them, cause it never stops.
So you got to sort it out yourself, just think a day in the future, plan and make sure all falls into place the way you want it to, not just fall into place normally, but fall into place perfectly and even better than you wanted it to. And that's why you must be a genius, life forces you, how else can you feed your addiction for getting what you want? Play chess. Don't invent a holster to prevent your phone screen from scratching, don't invent a holster that BB can detect, get a freaking phone that is scratch proof. The best solution.
As I said, I am moving out, and the house help is almost done, all to do now is shower, then ice cream, then Nakumatt, then decide what I will buy and what I will not, optimize on my time mostly, then other resources, so that I have everything and a little left over for my iPhone 5. Does it really run on laser?
When you discover getting all you want is addictive, and getting all this doesn't come like home comes, all you can do is play chess, until everything falls into place like the iPhone 5 will fall into my hands. And my baby will go like 'oh my, oh my, oh my' it will speak for itself, I wouldn't have to start explaining why there are men with smelly fit in my house...
Don't let me miss you. Accept my 'friend request', follow me. Am in your life, be in mine! Share mine...
When all you want is your greatest addiction, and playing chess is a must, you have to be genius, or you will never be happy or feel alive!
