Why do I forget you,
My sweet consoling words,
Why do I forget you?
You are my therapy,
You are my way out,
I am having hard evenings,
I am trying almost everything,
To be happy,
To keep my head up,
To think happy thoughts,
To look forward,
To laugh.
But where is my smile?
I can't see it,
Where is joy,
I can't feel it,
Where is hope,
I am trying to look at it but it's not clear.
When tragedy sets in,
Love comes in full measure,
From a lot of people,
But for a while,
Then they all leave and forget,
But you are stuck with the memories,
And all you want to do is revenge,
You want justice.
Then other issues come up,
Beyond your comprehension,
You don't know from where they come,
But they are there,
Your body starts to shake,
And you feel comfortable watching it shake,
You feel maybe it's something unclean that has gotten in you,
Then you put your bible next to you as you sleep,
You say countless prayers,
Hoping that it will make up for all the days,
You havent been speaking to Heaven.
You switch on the lights,
Cause you can't sleep off with them,
At least not when you are shaking like you do,
And you do not know what's the deal,
It gets to a point you wish that it was a disease,
Probably something to do with depression or an over active brain.
But then you ask the doctor,
And he tell you it is stress or lack of sleep,
Lack of enough food,
You haven't been eating well,
You haven't been sleeping enough,
But have you?
Or it's the caffeine in coffee that causes the tremors?
Then you start to obsess over small things,
Like work,
And it's all you can think about,
The escape you seek,
But it doesn't stop the tremors you feel inside.
You start not liking who you are becoming,
Keeping to yourself,
Not returning calls,
You force yourself to do what you are supposed to do,
What you have planned to do when you feel like that,
Ignore what you feel,
Keep to the path,
I am ready for it,
Take all the sadness in the world,
And I will live with it,
Take all the depression in the world,
And I will stay with it,
Whether it makes sense to me or not I will fight,
I will close my eyes and sleep cause I will need to wake up in the morning,
I will pray until I bleed to beg for angels to be sent from heaven,
To sleep around me,
To watch my bed.
I don't want to fight with the ghosts I seem to imagine in my room,
At night when lights are off,
I will stick to the plan,
I will rise above all,
I will not give up,
Smile at the ones I love,
Sit with them and talk politics,
Turn the pages on the books,
Enjoy a movie or two,
Stick to the plan until this disease is out,
Until I feel inspired and fly in total bliss.
But I am afraid of telling her these things,
The girl I love,
Why should I put her through all this,
I can't be seen to be crying the whole night,
I can't be seen to be the guy who sleeps with lights on,
And a Bible at his bed side,
Afraid of ghost but they might just be a disease,
That causes me to feel to much,
But am not even sure of that,
But it's always good to fight something you know,
It's comforting,
So I would rather just name it like psychiatrists do,
If I dont what will I be fighting against,
Something I can't explain,
You would hate what you know,
The body language of science,
When you ask a doctor what causes the tremors,
And clearly you see that he doesn't know,
Or does he?
I can close my eyes and fake happiness,
I will force myself to fight with the struggles of everyday,
Cause I am not foolish,
I know if I give up now I will suffer later,
And I don't want to regret,
I want comfort and pride for good things,
A heart that has helped the world.
But what I am really afraid of is her,
She didn't sign up for this,
I can't be ruining her mood every night,
Sadness is contagious you know,
I don't catch mine from people,
I am the source of it,
If you were me you would realize the power of a joke,
Or a harty Laughter,
It really cools you down.
Baby I might forget to make you happy,
I might not smile as much,
But in this world I need someone who understands me,
Like the heavens do,
The heavens do I know,
But I can't see them really.
But you are here,
I love you,
Am afraid if I dont smile enough,
I will loose you,
No one want to be with someone,
Who bitches and smiles all the time.
I will not edit this,
Cause this is for you baby,
I don't want to edit my words,
Like the way I edit a frown into a smile for the world,
I want to be naked before you,
I hope I will remember to turn off the lights,
So that you do not see anything get depressed and leave,
No one deserves to be with me,
Am troubled and complicated.
I know you didn't sign up for this babes,
But if you would stick around it will mean everything,
The mind is weak it can forget to stick around,
I don't know about the heart.
I promise when I am in bliss I will not forget you,
I will remember the nights we spent keeping me afloat,
You will remember my unedited words,
And I will pour bliss on you like an ocean,
You will drown in pleasurable bliss,
I will make you so happy you might think you are insane,
Cause when am happy that's how my happiness feels,
Insane,
And uncomprehendible ,
I will make you feel like the most blissful girl in the world.
Then you can show me a girl who is happier than you out there,
And if you find one which you wouldnt,
I will put on my swimming gear,
Swim to the deepest ocean to look for happiness for you,
Get a rope and climb the highest mountain until you are blissful,
Heck, I will even go fetch you the moon,
But if I find out you want the world instead,
I will take you to the moon,
We will sit next to each other on it,
I will tie a knot like a cowboy does,
Throw it into the universe until it catches the world,
Then with all my might I will pull the world to where we are,
And put it in your hand,
Then you will have no doubt,
When I tell you,
No girl in the world,
In history, in present day and in future,
Will ever know bliss from a man,
As much as you will.
Sent from my iPad
