I awakened from my sleep. I checked my watch. It was two in the morning. As I started wondering what made me, wake up that early. Waking up at that time isn't natural for me, I heard a loud bang on the door, That's must have been what woke me up, And before I was up, To save myself, They were already in, I knew it. I was either going under my bed, Or the highest shelf on my wardrobe, With a knife in my hand.
The moment one of them gets to my room, I will jump out of the shelf onto their face. I was going to attack them, They got in.
The attack didn't go as planned,
"my friend, what are you trying out?"
They tied me up and put me on the floor. He called me 'my friend.'
It's a fine establishment, The restaurant I was having lunch at that some other day. Normally they would serve their meals, After they have brought steamy wet white hand towels, With disinfectant and a slight mint feel on them. But this time they brought the meal before the towels. I didn't want to be a bitch and complain that day, So I found myself walking to the washrooms,
'An apple a day keeps the doctors away,'
Washing your hands before a meal does too! And so that you have an idea how away I try keeping doctors from me, I wash my hands before I eat and also before I touch my wiwi!
Washrooms have become an establishment themselves. Have you seen how much attention is being paid to them lately? You do your sh*t there comfortably; Sorry meant you do away with your sh*t there very comfortably. (I hate that word, sh*t and I don't like to hear it often, that's why this is the last time I am using it)
A comfortable place, That is how trends go. Most of the time at such establishment, You find men in suits cause they are established men,
And sons of established men. That's the men's washroom so if you find someone's daughter there, Know a grandson is on the way!
He wasn't wearing a suit, But he was in boots not black but grey, They looked like the kind you wouldn't get around, Whatever shop you went to across the country, His pants were tartan and tacked in his boots,
That was to much a bold and brave statement. But he pulled it off.
And like men at the boys room in fine establishments, A short hello goes accordingly,
"hey"
"hey"
"how you doing?"
"am good"
Its his jacket and watch that gave him away. He wasn't schooling from around,
"going out tonight?"
"probably tomorrow"
He knew me but I didn't know him, But he looked familiar, And there we were,
The car was sliding in the mad, But I couldn't stop accelerating, My heart was pounding, I had to keep up, He was a meter ahead, My lights shown at his number plate, If he braked a little bit, It would be an accident, But come to think, With all that mud on the road, His brakes would work as slow as mine. Speeding in the mud at night, It's like doing heroine, I have never done it but the thrill and the ecstasy, The risk the boyishness of it all... Safari Rally is one thing, Doing it yourself is another thing.
And then another weekend would come along, Naivasha is a cash cow in it's own right, And there we were, Right at the heart of Naivasha. You have small pulses on your wrist, And small ones everywhere your blood vessels flow, But at your chest we have the heart of life, And that hotel is the heart of Naivasha, All the other establishments are like the tiny pulses on your body,
They all are part of the economic and heart beat of Naivasha, But we were at the heart of the vacation spot of Naivasha. It was as protected as the ribs around your heart.
We bullied the receptionists, And the concierge mostly. We demanded we be shown the rooms, Were we would throw a penthouse party. Being a good hosts requires planning you know. He actually took us around the whole place, And the carpets in that place sink shoes, The ceiling are as high as the heavens, All the waiters make you feel like they are butlers. We decided no party will be thrown there, When we took a couple of beers, We almost asked his girlfriend to pay part of it! That receptionist must remember us,
And the guards at the gate there thought we had a lion in the boot. Those bustards took us seriously,
"we were just joking man"
I guess when guards see boys they still see trouble. But a place like that I am sure a couple of men have tried to steal animals, Elephants exactly, Probably, You know ivory and art go hand in hand. They obviously didn't get any lion in the boot.
We went to other places, To look for a place to throw a party, But we ended up, watching the lake and the air around it, Like television, The skies were beautiful, The girls loved it especially, It was really beautiful. But you know guys around other guys don't over emphasize on such things. It is considered a girly thing to do. When you make love to a girl, With candles and a bottle of wine, You tell your boys you sexed her like mad. And she had a lot of alcohol, And bent over for you, You were such a man about it.
End of story,
What you emphasize on is, "no just listen to what I am saying" And so I didn't stop at the road side, I detoured from the moan road, A few meters away we stopped. He was right. The meat there tasted better, It was fresher,
And when you squeeze nyama choma and it's juicy, Then you know that is good barbecue. That's what men emphasize on around other men. Not sissy things like flowers, And wine and other romantic ideas like calling sex,
Love making!
That meat was so good when we got back into the car, As we were driving away from Kikopei, The girls in the car claiming to be a vegetarian enjoyed the meat.
We also enjoyed going out and banging girls from foreign towns. Weekend after weekend it became a habit. The thing with being boys with being friends with someone, The right person is that life becomes lively. Boring things like transporting furniture becomes fun. He was the one who convinced me to run away from the transporters,Apparently if you pay people after the work they do better work. We were changed in sneakers on the courts, Holding rackets that look like tennis rackets, When we were called by the puzzled Movers, Asking us where we were. We told them they get paid when the work is done. And the work was done when the game ended, They must have been sweating out of carrying things around, We were sweating from a good game. I won. I take credit for it since I am writing this!
Active labour is always more refreshing than passive labour.
So there we were, In the washroom where we meet, Months ago, So many road trips ago, So many parties ago, So many beers ago, And games, And the bustard tell me my sneakers stink! They are sports shoes for heavens sake! And I don't like wearing socks you know, Sneakers are supposed to stink! If it was a girl I would bring in feelings and try and work on her guilt. If I brought feelings about my stinking tennis shoes, He would make more fun at me, Turn it into such a big deal, If there were guys in the toilets, They would join in the laughter,
"those shoes man, phew!"
So total guy instinct. I laughed, Then picked his perfume from his gym bag,
"si we are buddies?"
I want your perfume, And just like that the conversation changed.
So the next time you find yourself, In the washrooms of a fine establishment, and a hello is in order, Extend the conversation to an exchange of contacts, Cause we are on earth with people, Not just lovers but also friends, And the right friends equals a good life, However bad you are at math remember that friends equal fun.
But when you hear a bang on your door, And you climb up your wardrobe, Waiting to pounce on your attacked, Give him the element of surprise,
Like he tried giving you the element of surprise, When they tie you up and let you lie on the floor, And steal the perfume off your shelf, And everything else, Then call you your friend, Don't believe them, They are just trying to be funny,You will pee on yourself, You will not smell as nice trust me, Baby pee doesn't smell like adult pee, As you call the cops after your house has been wiped clean, And your pockets are so empty they are inside out.
We really are all trying to be happy, For a minute let's forget about work, The fruits of hard-work are juicy, But they take time to ripen, The fruits of a good friend are immediate. A few parties ago, A whole track loads of cocktails ago, A number of road trips ago, I am happier. You will be if you pick the right friends, Not the kind that steal your perfume and Telly, The kind that you buy half filled perfume from, As an immediate change of conversation from smelly shoes. A bottle of liquid so rare it has ridden in so many planes to get here, So awesome I think the designer made that bottle himself.
To all my friends, You will never be alone, I appreciate you, But only my friends, Cause good friends make us smell nice, The others that make us smell bad can die for all I care! Thats my wish, But it's for the heavens to decide.
I hope you will not go breaking down people's doors, And calling them friends. Good friends make you smell nice, Bad friends make you smell awful.
Let's be happier!
Life is short,
Don't live alone!
