I wanted kids,
I told her,
I wanted kids from her,
I told her that all the time,
But she wouldn't listen.
You have to shower I told her,
Not with the rain like you like to,
Every time it rains there she was,
Playing outside then running inside the house,
To soil everything even the carpet with rain.
That carpet is fixed stedfast on the floor,
It runs permanently from wall to wall,
You can't remove it and clean it,
It's not like my white khaki pants,
That needs just a little detergent to restore then to white.
But she is a lover of life,
She is white,
She loves to feel the rain on her skin.
You will not get kids if you don't shower...
She swore never to shower herself,
Unless of course it's in the rain,
Even when the shampoo she used was gentle on her,
She still complained about the water.
You have to smell nice,
And when she agreed,
She started to look attractive,
Clean and beautiful,
She even shaved a bit so that she could get appeal.
I was happy for her,
She was going to get kids at that rate.
Then problem came when I realized she doesn't go out much,
I tried to plead with her to go for walks with me,
I tried to make her at least get out of the house to buy food,
Instead of sending someone to go buy it for her,
At least she could meet someone out there.
How will you meet anyone while all you do is stay in the house?
I tried to convince her to go to her doctors,
Maybe there she could get picked up,
Perhaps even have a one night stand.
I tried to get her into the car,
She refused.
I tried to ask her to go out to clubs,
But unfortunately she was underage,
So there was no way she would be let in,
She was barely ten but mature in all ways.
One day I got her into the car,
I drove her for a bit,
And she kept complaining of the awful smell of petrol,
I gave her milk immediately after.
Poor thing!
How do you expect to get laid while all you do is sit here on tv,
She didn't have a social life to start with,
You got to be out there,
Anywhere,
We tried Facebook,
We uploaded her photos,
Yeah, you guessed right!
She wasn't focused at all at the whole process,
All she would do is play around in the back yard,
Never posing for a photo.
We are not playing,
We are trying to get you laid,
I tried to tell her.
How will you get laid when you aren't around men even?
At least be around a couple that's where to start!
She just stared at the camera tilted her head,
She looks so cute trying to understand how it works.
It was definitely a machine more complex than the golf balls she used to steal,
And run around with as I played in the back yard,
I hooked her up with another dog eventually,
Cause that's what friends do.
They get their friends laid,
They hook them up behind their back,
And make them believe it was all their charm.
I hooked her up with another dog eventually.
They first fought together,
You know how it goes,
Dogs are very territorial,
Especially Scuffy my most playful dog,
She is smaller and fluffier than the guy dog,
A million times prettier and brighter,
She has personality,
There are things she loves and things she hates,
She loves to run even when you don't chase her,
Runs vigorously,
She hates televisions and mirrors cause they reflect her,
She doesn't know the reflection on the tv is her,
And she hates them.
When she comes looking for me in my room,
Then stares at my Telly,
In a few seconds I know she will bark her lungs out,
Did I tell you she is very territorial?
I almost hate that about her.
But problem is that I love her helplessly.
Unlike other dogs she loves water so much,
she almost drinks water out of flower pots,
but I make sure the guard feeds her with enough water,
Otherwise she might get a stomach ache from sipping muddy water.
I got her a guy to shag her into expectancy,
When he came they fought
After the fighting over territory,
I think chemistry set in.
I wasn't the first to know about her pregnancy,
I felt betrayed by her.
I got to learn about it the hard way.
The vet said she had a miscarriage.
And the complications of everything made her sick.
She is still at the vets,
She has been there for a while now.
He is taking care of her.
Please pray Scuffy gets better.
"she is strong courageous and intelligent,"
"beautiful sweet and passionate,"
"she loves play more than work"
I love her cause she warms my heart and all else,
She teaches me how to live sometimes,
And can read my heart so to cheer me up.
I have been afraid to got see her at the vets,
Cause the vet speaks on the phone with a low tone.
Please pray she gets better,
I miss how she chases a whole herd of bulls,
Makes sure they don't eat the grass where I play golf on.
While she is just as tall as their ankle,
"please get better Scuffy"
The big Pork Dog Sausage is waiting for you in the fridge,
I know you love it mixed with milk.
I don't mind if you run away with the golf balls,
Hide them in your house.
Try to understand that Fetch is a game where humans throw a ball,
Not the dog,
The humans throw the ball,
And you fetch it,
You fetch it all right,
Then you expect me to fetch it too.
I understand you want equality,
Sometimes I will fetch the ball like you like me to do,
And I will not get mad.
But you got to promise to get better and come back home first.
"please get better Scuffy"
